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If all Premier League Goalkeepers had a normal job. A thread:
1. Allison - Tapas Bar Owner
Really nice guy. Has time for everyone, always has a smile on his face. Great dancer. Will happily sit with you with a beer before closing time.
1. Allison - Tapas Bar Owner
Really nice guy. Has time for everyone, always has a smile on his face. Great dancer. Will happily sit with you with a beer before closing time.
2. Areloa – Yoga Instructor
Always bare foot, as he feels more connected to the earth this way. You won’t meet a calmer, more softly spoken person in the world. Vegan.
Always bare foot, as he feels more connected to the earth this way. You won’t meet a calmer, more softly spoken person in the world. Vegan.
3. Darlow – Part of the Geordie Shore cast
Religiously gets his spray tan done twice a week. A genuine, down to earth guy despite the cast he shares the screen with.
Religiously gets his spray tan done twice a week. A genuine, down to earth guy despite the cast he shares the screen with.
4. De Gea – College Student
Rarely seen in class. Spends most of his time in his dorm, smoking copious amounts of weed. A decent bloke though who will give you a lift in his Fiat Cinquecento if you’re ever stuck.
Rarely seen in class. Spends most of his time in his dorm, smoking copious amounts of weed. A decent bloke though who will give you a lift in his Fiat Cinquecento if you’re ever stuck.
5. Ederson – Bouncer
Let’s all the girls in. If you’re a bloke, good luck getting passed him. Don’t even try to argue your case, or the consequences will be bestowed upon you.
Let’s all the girls in. If you’re a bloke, good luck getting passed him. Don’t even try to argue your case, or the consequences will be bestowed upon you.
6. Fabianski – Pharmaceutical Scientist
Never leaves the lab. Has countless degrees and doctorates in Science. Currently working on a vaccine for Covid-19.
Never leaves the lab. Has countless degrees and doctorates in Science. Currently working on a vaccine for Covid-19.
7. Guaita – DJ
A veteran DJ and resident at Ibiza Rocks. Year in year out, he’s on the bill and on the decks with his trademark blonde hair. Loves himself.
A veteran DJ and resident at Ibiza Rocks. Year in year out, he’s on the bill and on the decks with his trademark blonde hair. Loves himself.
8. Johnstone – Bus Driver
Bit of a dick. Complains if you don’t have the correct change for the bus. Hates his job.
Bit of a dick. Complains if you don’t have the correct change for the bus. Hates his job.
9. Kepa – Spanish Student
On Erasmus in the UK. Is constantly on Tinder trying to make the most of his time abroad. Doesn’t speak much English but is a hit with the ladies.
On Erasmus in the UK. Is constantly on Tinder trying to make the most of his time abroad. Doesn’t speak much English but is a hit with the ladies.
10. Leno – Social Media Influencer
Never off Instagram. Forever topless. His newsfeed is filled with shots of him poolside, cocktail in hand and endorsing 5 star hotels. Alright guy but uses the word 'awesome' too much.
Never off Instagram. Forever topless. His newsfeed is filled with shots of him poolside, cocktail in hand and endorsing 5 star hotels. Alright guy but uses the word 'awesome' too much.
11. Lloris – Philosophy Lecturer
Ever present in the halls of Université de Paris. Impossible to maintain a steady conversation with, as he constantly questions and ponders the meaning of life. Loves expensive wine.
Ever present in the halls of Université de Paris. Impossible to maintain a steady conversation with, as he constantly questions and ponders the meaning of life. Loves expensive wine.
12. Martinez – Personal Trainer
Nice lad. The toughest, most grueling workouts you’ll ever encounter but will get you in the shape of your life.
Nice lad. The toughest, most grueling workouts you’ll ever encounter but will get you in the shape of your life.
13. McCarty – BBC Presenter
Versatile in his trade, he presents mundane lunch time TV shows, but has been known to fill in on Match of the Day 2 on occasion. Sound lad but a little bit boring.
Versatile in his trade, he presents mundane lunch time TV shows, but has been known to fill in on Match of the Day 2 on occasion. Sound lad but a little bit boring.
14. Meslier – School Chess Player
Still in school, this precocious 12 year old is a chess playing sensation. Currently on course for this 3rd world title.
Still in school, this precocious 12 year old is a chess playing sensation. Currently on course for this 3rd world title.
15. Pickford – Club Rep
A self-confessed banter merchant, you’ll find this chap outside every bar in Magaluf, offering you free entry into clubs and promises of the best deals on Jägerbombs.
A self-confessed banter merchant, you’ll find this chap outside every bar in Magaluf, offering you free entry into clubs and promises of the best deals on Jägerbombs.
16. Pope – Footlocker Store Assistant
Always turns up to work on time and has a great work ethic. No one has a bad word to say about him. Super nice lad, who just laughs off the constant "what's the weather like up there" jokes.
Always turns up to work on time and has a great work ethic. No one has a bad word to say about him. Super nice lad, who just laughs off the constant "what's the weather like up there" jokes.
17. Ramsdale – Online Hacker
Gets 3 hours sleep a day. Has an unhealthy Monster drink addiction. Constantly on this PC, attempting to hack his way into right-wing government sites. Has starred as an extra in all three Matrix movies.
Gets 3 hours sleep a day. Has an unhealthy Monster drink addiction. Constantly on this PC, attempting to hack his way into right-wing government sites. Has starred as an extra in all three Matrix movies.
18. Rui Patricio – Wedding Shop Owner.
Runs boutique wedding stores across Europe. Makes the most luxurious wedding dresses, specially designed for A-list celebs. A busy, wealthy man but you won’t find softer, silkier satin in the world.
Runs boutique wedding stores across Europe. Makes the most luxurious wedding dresses, specially designed for A-list celebs. A busy, wealthy man but you won’t find softer, silkier satin in the world.
19. Ryan – Wildlife Biologist
Lives outdoors and on the Safari park. Loves nature and wildlife. Never seen without his beloved safari hat. Has a pet Dingo.
Lives outdoors and on the Safari park. Loves nature and wildlife. Never seen without his beloved safari hat. Has a pet Dingo.
20. Schmeichel – Danish Prince
Comes from a royal family. Always dressed eloquently, not a hair out of place. Great lad, despite his posh background, who loves a pint and chats about football even on duty.
Comes from a royal family. Always dressed eloquently, not a hair out of place. Great lad, despite his posh background, who loves a pint and chats about football even on duty.
Inspiration taken from @unrealxherdan's manager thread!
