Let's talk miscarriage and abortion today. It's personal and it is sadly always topical, but today more than most other days. I'm 19+3, which is 19 weeks, 3 days pregnant with mono/di twins. This is a medium risk twin pregnancy, but all twin pregnancy is high risk.

Technically I am at very low risk of miscarriage. In actuality only have 4 more days that I can. After that it is a stillbirth, despite the fact that viability starts around 24 weeks.

I'm not usually one for celebrity things but Chrissy Teigen has been neat for me to follow along with. With her transfusions and early bed rest and other complications, it was a comfort to me, since it paralleled my own situation pretty closely.

She lost her pregnancy, and baby, last night. It was a stillbirth and a wanted child that was lost. People are going after her right now about how she could have done better, she deserved it, etc. It's all disgusting vulture behavior.

And I'm devastated. We got an at home Doppler last week for a fun party trick. It's a little machine that lets you hear their heart beats, and have them amplified. Better for grandparents to listen to or to have people hear over the phone than the easier, cheaper stethoscope.

When we played with it, we couldn't get the heart beat yet. I have an anterior placenta, this means I won't feel the twins move for much later than others. And it blocks the doppler to an extent. My only sanity since then is I have not been bleeding.

We have a regularly scheduled appointment today, where medical professionals will take care of all of it. And we have an anatomy scan next week that will tell us a lot more about the twins. But if I lose these two, it is likely to be a stillbirth.

That doesn't mean they will come out on their own, by the way. That means they no longer have beating hearts, and are dead. Most stillbirths require removal, which is classified the same as an abortion.

I have been crying to much to see if Chrissy needed this. I assume she did since the forced birth crowd is going after her. A much publicly loved pregnancy that they did everything to keep, and it scares me that it is a medical procedure that may be lost as an option in the US.

Let me rephrase that, a medical procedure that will be lost to have done safely. If you think the only back alley abortions were on live tissue I have a bridge to sell you.

I am relieved for myself that this is likely to be my only pregnancy. I am relieved that we have long term plans, but I am also terrified. Women are going to die, a lot more often, if they are denied abortions.

The dead tissue needs to be removed, and it doesn't always do it on your own. You know the TSS panic? It's nothing compared to things that can happen to an unremoved dead fetus. At least the tampon can't turn into a calcified stone. The septic shock and all that is similar.

But with all things pregnancy, everything can go wrong in every direction, simply because we don't know much about it. And that includes removing a loss. This is not to say that these are all abortions.

There are other ones like we discussed earlier, the trisomy abortions where the baby is non viable but still alive too. And there are so many wanted pregnancies that end in abortion for health reasons.

As well as unwanted pregnancies that are ended. I don't care what the reasons are, no child should be brought into the world unwanted, so that seems good enough for me.

But when pro birth/forced birth people go at it, they genuinely don't know the sorts of things I wrote above. It's not talked about normally. It is hush hush, and that is because it is upsetting for so many. Pregnancy loss and miscarriage are not uncommon.

It is the result of something like 40% of pregnancies. Imagine trying to outlaw a natural bodily function. All that does it make it unsafe to be the one in the bodies that it applies to.

Because if you don't think that they are going to try miscarriages as abortions, you are not paying attention. This is one of many reasons I'm passionate about waiting to replace the bench.

And this is basic medical information that a lot of the pro birth/forced birth people don't realize or know. These are the things that need to be talked about. Let people know the actual medical issues.