[CN abuse, domestic violence]

i have a photograph of myself in tears that i took shortly after my bad ex threw me across the room. i remember wanting to document that moment—to remind myself that what i felt was real. that this happened. i can't imagine judging somebody on that

[CN pregnancy loss, miscarriage]
trauma and memory interact strangely. things become dreamlike, or forgotten, or suppressed, or jumbled up. i've also experienced pregnancy loss and mostly what i remember is how lonely it felt, both times. the pressure to keep the pain to myself.

in many ways grief SHOULD be public. we should share these things. we should support one another and help one another carry the unthinkable weights of pain and loss, and be soft places for one another, too.

these things can be difficult to see and nobody should be compelled to retraumatise themselves—i'm not saying we should be forced to share ALL the grief in the world, ALL the time. but the general revulsion at vulnerability is disturbing.

i honestly think there's a prudishness & misanthropy to this sort of stuff—a rejection of the difficult, fleshy, snotty, imperfect bits of being human.the same ppl who would sneer at CT for her "perfect" instagrammable life sneer at her for shattering the walls of that perfection