“wHaT dID yOu sAy tO MaKe hIM so MaD?” question asked to my best friend after her husband choked and dragged her by her hair down the stairs because she told him she didn’t feel well enough to attend a family dinner. She was 7 months pregnant.

“E KA LYP” words spoken by an Albanian man in my presence after hearing about a husband punching his wife so hard her head slammed against the pavement and she had a brain bleed. The argument was about her desire to move out of his parents home due to the treatment she received.

“Gruaja duhet me mshel gojen” actual words said to my cousin when she expressed concern over how her husband was verbally abusing her. He eventually progressed to beating her. She miscarried twice and eventually he left her for someone else. She is now

considered less desirable by many men who want the “virgin” wife who never dated. She still flinches if you move too quickly in her direction.

“Mbetshin eshnat atje” actual phrase said to me on my wedding day. Older woman told me to keep my head down, my mouth shut and do whatever it takes to remain married until death.

Makes me sick but not shocked at the amount of men on TL who are focused on twisting things to be “oh why are you feminists claiming all Albanian men are bad! You’re wrong!” And my personal fav “no where in Kosov or Albania do women report abuse and nothing is done” ..

One only has to google cases in those places to find out the truth. Not all Albanian men are abusers. I’m married to one and he treats me with exceptional love and respect. But to say domestic violence doesn’t exist in the Albanian community and that it isn’t condoned is a lie.

It is. It’s swept under the rug. Just like everything else deemed undesirable. This has nothing to do with feminism. This has to do with basic fundamental human rights.