Had a convo w/ my sister this morning about a misunderstanding between me and my parents. And she told me that we have a barrier that’s why these things happen. The barrier was up for a reason. If they accepted their femme kid in 2nd year high, things might be different.

And I randomly told her that that barrier would only fall once they know and accept me for who I am. And that chance may be when they have no choice anymore, when they’re frail, old and ailing, and I’m the one left to take care of them since my sister can marry & start a family

Why is it like that? The LGBT child becomes the one to look after their aging and ailing parents; the very same parents who caused their children trauma with their discrimination and non-acceptance, just because they don’t understand. Just because their faith told them so.

And yet we gay kids are tagged as the black sheep for being non-confirming. But the moment we become successful and our cis hetero siblings leave us with this responsibility just because we can’t marry, just because we can’t start a family here, we become worthy. I hate it.

I hate it that we have to be successful. I hate that it’s when they have no other choice. I hate it when my worth to be accepted by my family is based on these. So yeah, that barrier will still be up for awhile. And they still wonder why they feel distant to me all this time.