Very troubling that the song "Monster Mash" isn't the Monster Mash — it's a song about the Monster Mash, which is not itself heard on the track, and is fundamentally unknowable to us.

Much like the eponymous film "Infinite Jest" inside the world of Infinite Jest, the Monster Mash is no— [gets dragged off stage with a cane]

"I desperately need to know what Jean Baudrillard thought of Monster Mash," she said extremely single-ly.

Lot of you are saying it's just a dance Amy it's not that deep, and I want you to know that's not very sPoOooOoKy of you

Big day for team "I've seen this take before so you're a bitch"

Guys we had such a good run before men started tweeting my own selfies back at me to put me in my place

[touches earpiece] I've been informed the real Monster Mash is in fact Bodak Yellow, sorry for the confusion

the council of monsters is having an emergency Zoom call like "they're starting to ask QUESTIONS"

oh the monster mash is just a dance? yeah that's exactly what the government wants you to think

If it only refers to a dance then what were The Crypt-Kicker Five playing and why are both presidential candidates refusing to investigate it??

exCUSE ME

Some of you are coming at this with citations from the chorus but not verses which would never hold up to peer review. Get your head in the game.