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alright it's almost midnight and i have a deadline for tomorrow, but you know what i'm doing? i'm taking one for the team (all of us) and reading this:
it cost me a free 30 day subscription to Kindle Unlimited so someone remind me to cancel that before i have to pay $9.99 a month.
okay right off the top i'm going to say that lockdown did not go well for the author.
my friends, i just -----
now i'm not much of a scientist myself, but i am pretty sure you're NOT supposed to 'bate in the lap while ur handling a the roni samples BUT hey what do i know. get it alexa.
anyway, SOMETHING was described as being so erm... wet... that something else glided like a "fat man on waterslide" and well that's going to haunt me until my dying days.
okay lockdown was REALLY rough on our girl
at first i thought this might have been written by a 12 year old boy, but it's definitely written by a woman. there's two paragraphs dedicated to how much her boss ignores her ideas.
she ran the COVID-19 samples through the sampleometer, @science.
what.................. does it sound like?
anyway this is why we should all be listening to bonnie henry
"they call me - 19,
COVID-19"
COVID-19"
it's truly a 2020 curse that lead me to reading a pandemic fanfic about a scientist boning a humanoid coronavirus. was it funny? yes. was the author serious? i hope not. do i have a great need to do a dramatic reading of this to anyone that will listen? yes.
for the low low price of a free 30 day subscription, you too can experience all the passionate lab love making that COVID apparently has to offer. you'll also learn such lovely euphemisms such as:
- pocket of ecstasy
- love lotion
- hot man-dog
- pocket of ecstasy
- love lotion
- hot man-dog
this was still a better read than Infinite Jest.
ethically, i am concerned about this author.
morally, i am concerned about this story.
spiritually, i am damaged from this.
emotionally, i am numb.
morally, i am concerned about this story.
spiritually, i am damaged from this.
emotionally, i am numb.
i am assuming MJ Edwards is a pseudonym, but i NEED to talk to this person. i will keep all traces of your identity confidential, i just have A LOT of questions to ask you. like this is dark my dude, are you ok? please email me at sammarienock@gmail.com. i need to talk to you.
anyway, please don't hate me for reading this ethically questionable piece of literature. i will never sleep peacefully again knowing that someone wrote a COVID-19 spicy fanfic. if we meet again in person after the vaccine and i seem withdrawn and troubled, it's because of this.
goodnight
plot twist of the century:
i am going to email him tomorrow, i need an explanation.
