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wait who wants to cry in the club? bc when they first adopt xy, xxc fully bribes him with a candy for every single claw he clips. if xxc doesn't trim them, xy just. does not. lets them grow long until they get weird and infected.
so xxc sits there and clips his nails and feeds him candy. so many candies. these are the candies that xxc hides in the most secret of his stashes, so that xy ONLY gets them on nail trimming day. and slowly, slowly, they get down to one candy for every couple nails. one per hand
the problem is: xy gets cavities. and taking him to the dentist is a fucking NIGHTMARE. he has to be sedated. so now they have to make sure he actually brushes his teeth and isn't just saying he's done it. rotting tooth catboy breath is NOT FUN. do you kiss your boyfs with that??
so sl is in charge of tooth brushing bc xxc has to do nail clipping and he just. he cannot be constantly forcing xy to do shit he doesn't want to do. they have to share the worst tasks fairly, Zichen! this is not, in sl's humble opinion, fair at all bc xy still likes xxc better.
f i n e. sl goes for malicious compliance. he buys xy one of those chicken-flavored toothpastes for cats. xy begrudgingly uses it. then, sl buys him a bubblegum-flavored one for children, and that goes over Much Better, and sl has never been this smug in his ENTIRE LIFE.
and then xxc kisses xy after tooth-brushing time, and he is. not impressed. Z I C H E N. zichen, why does xy's mouth taste like a candy store threw up in it? excuse me?? you had? one job?? sl explains that, in fact, that is xy's preferred toothpaste and it gets the job done.
xy HAPPILY brushes his teeth now. there is no complaining! sl has almost convinced xy to floss! they're bargaining on mouthwash, xingchen, he swears. xxc is Most Displeased. he pretends that the bubblegum toothpaste doesn't bother him a truly obscene amount.
he also pretends that it doesn't bother him that sl and xy are in 100% agreement about something that HE, their FAVORITE, does not agree with. and is in fact against. why would they betray him like this? oh you kick xxc? you kick him like the football??
xxc mopes around the house. huffing. puffing. this does not persuade xy and sl. they are only a more unified front bc xxc is being such an absolute bitch about it. the toothpaste stays! in fact, sl starts using the toothpaste as well. vengeance tastes like bubblegum, xingchen.
honestly, the first time xxc smells the bubblegum on sl's breath, he thinks he is hallucinating. then, he does a flavor check and he just. vibrates into another dimension. ARE YOU JOKING. is this happening. are you an ACTUAL CHILD, zichen?! xxc is shouting. about toothpaste.
sl smiles at him. "do you want to supervise toothbrushing?" he asks oh so sweetly.
xxc glares. "is that what you want? fine." xy will be minty fresh in no time.
"naaaah, that's our special time together." sl is grinning. "we bond over those two minutes."
xxc glares. "is that what you want? fine." xy will be minty fresh in no time.
"naaaah, that's our special time together." sl is grinning. "we bond over those two minutes."
xxc shuts his eyes. centers himself. tries to suppress thoughts of homicide. "fine. i'll try the fucking toothpaste." he hates it. and watching him hate it brings sl and xy such incredible joy. nothing makes them rejoice more than the sight of xxc foaming pinkly at the mouth.
and anyway that's the story of why all songxuexiao blowjobs were briefly and inexplicably bubblegum flavored for about a fortnight before xxc broke down and went back to mint because he can't handle sl and xy's flavor truth.
