Just bad dad fears: sometimes I worry that one day a switch will flip where I’ll abandon my family in piles of debt and run off to the big city to do coke with college students, date women nearly half my age and somehow make it the fault of everyone around me

I will delete this in a hot second but lol one day my dad just didn’t come home from work and then THREE days later called my mom and said “I guess you’ve figured out by now that I’ve left you.” And she had figured it out, because he’d pulled shit like that before

Six months later, when his life hadn’t ~magically~ improved the way he’d thought it would after unburdening himself of his family, he tried to get back together with my mom and was SHOCKED when she said no. Her refusal is part of his downward spiral is her fault

The most terrifying thing is that I think he truly believes the narrative that he’s created? The story in which he’s the unique victim of his mother, his sister, his ex-wife, his three daughters (you may notice that the uniting factor here is that they’re all women)

The other distressing thing is that if he did ever get his shit together and make amends, I would have a relationship with him in a heartbeat because I love him and miss him so much