You know, I don’t know if I would wish for a cure for my chronic illnesses-and there are a lot of them. I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about it-and to be honest, I don’t really want to.

Because, for me, the world has already made their mind up. Here’s why.

Many of my illnesses are “women’s diseases”-things that disproportionately hit AFAB people. PCOS, hypermobility, fibro, POTS, possible chronic fatigue.

These conditions have disproportionately less research, because they don’t impact people we think of as men nearly as often.

No money = a much lower shot of knowing how these diseases work complexly, co-occurring conditions, basic management strategies-let alone a “cure”. That shit isn’t happening.

These diseases, frankly put, are cared about less because of who they impact.

I also have conditions that are a lot more common, like pre-diabetes, GERD, NAFLD and sleep apnea. These all have a lot more funding because people we think of as men often do have these conditions.

We have a much better idea how all of those conditions work.

But, to be honest, I don’t put much stock in thinking about cures for those either. Why? Well, here’s the thing-these conditions, especially diabetes, are highly stigmatized. A lot of that goes with fatphobia, particularly in the US. People with them are seen as lazy.

And we put a lot of funding towards lifestyle changes-which matter, I don’t want to say otherwise, but that ignore the structural issues that underlie so many of these conditions, like inter generational poverty, genetics and trauma.

So, to be frank with you, I don’t trust the people who have power to make structural changes that could meaningfully impact how often my conditions happen to do so. And even if they did, historically speaking those changes are unlikely to ever reach me.

So, what’s the point? For me, personally, there isn’t one. It’s a one in a million chance that it comes, and a one in a billion chance that it ever hits my radar.

I want to be crystal clear here that I am talking ONLY about my illnesses. Things that I classify as my disabilities not caused by a chronic illness are an entirely separate conversation.