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Atsumu made sure to pack the bags correctly with Sho’s essentials. He doesn’t have any intentions on making the latter suffer.
They drove almost 40 minutes away from the bustling city of Tokyo to the nearest beach.
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They drove almost 40 minutes away from the bustling city of Tokyo to the nearest beach.
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“You can take a nap, babe. I’ll wake you up when we get there.”
The yellow-haired continued to drive while humming to some of the songs playing on the stereo.
He opened the windows to let the fresh air circulate inside the vehicle. It is sometimes suffocating, he thought.
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The yellow-haired continued to drive while humming to some of the songs playing on the stereo.
He opened the windows to let the fresh air circulate inside the vehicle. It is sometimes suffocating, he thought.
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𝐼𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒, 𝑆ℎ𝑜. 𝐼’𝑙𝑙 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑠𝑒𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛.
He knows Sho absolutely hates it when he drives fast. But he also knows that he can appease the other by promising not to do it again.
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He knows Sho absolutely hates it when he drives fast. But he also knows that he can appease the other by promising not to do it again.
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After a few minutes, they reached the beach just in time for the sun to set.
Atsumu quickly set the cloth up by the sand to have a place to sit while peacefully watching the sun setting.
“How is it? We just made it in time, yeah?”
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Atsumu quickly set the cloth up by the sand to have a place to sit while peacefully watching the sun setting.
“How is it? We just made it in time, yeah?”
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“Glad I sped up.”
He glanced at Sho and meeting the eyes of other so bright and feeling like it’s penetrating his soul he added,
“A bit. I just sped up a bit, babe.”
Atsumu regretted not coming to this place for the past few years. He thought he really missed it a lot.
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He glanced at Sho and meeting the eyes of other so bright and feeling like it’s penetrating his soul he added,
“A bit. I just sped up a bit, babe.”
Atsumu regretted not coming to this place for the past few years. He thought he really missed it a lot.
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He started bringing out the foods he prepared for this special day.
“Ah, I cooked a lot. But these are all your favorites so I had a hard time choosing what to cook, so I cooked them all.” He let out a chuckle.
He set up the all the utensils and opened all of the containers.
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“Ah, I cooked a lot. But these are all your favorites so I had a hard time choosing what to cook, so I cooked them all.” He let out a chuckle.
He set up the all the utensils and opened all of the containers.
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“Thanks for the food!” He exclaimed.
Atsumu started eating while exchanging looks with Sho and smiling from time to time. He told the other about his brother’s restaurant, and also about his twin currently head over heels with his high school volleyball teammate.
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Atsumu started eating while exchanging looks with Sho and smiling from time to time. He told the other about his brother’s restaurant, and also about his twin currently head over heels with his high school volleyball teammate.
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Atsumu stopped talking for a while and looked at the picture frame in front of him. Sho was smiling in that photo and that photo is Atsumu’s favorite.
He felt a lump on his throat.
And there, he started crying and looked at the sky with the sun slowly setting.
“Why, Sho?”
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He felt a lump on his throat.
And there, he started crying and looked at the sky with the sun slowly setting.
“Why, Sho?”
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Waves of memories from that night flooded Atsumu’s mind.
It was a rainy night. They were inside the car on their way home, arguing. He cannot fully remember what it was about, but he’s sure it was pretty deep judging by how frustrated Sho was.
“ATSUMU!”
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It was a rainy night. They were inside the car on their way home, arguing. He cannot fully remember what it was about, but he’s sure it was pretty deep judging by how frustrated Sho was.
“ATSUMU!”
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The next thing he remembers is Sho’s funeral.
They were all wearing black. Friends and families are giving their condolences, trying to ease the pain by sympathizing.
How lame, he thought. Nothing’s gonna change even if they give the stars to him.
Sho is gone.
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They were all wearing black. Friends and families are giving their condolences, trying to ease the pain by sympathizing.
How lame, he thought. Nothing’s gonna change even if they give the stars to him.
Sho is gone.
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After almost 5 years, he was able to finally move forward, little by little.
For Sho’s 5th death anniversary, Atsumu thought on taking him to the beach once again. Like their usual date.
But he realized, the framed photo would never replace Sho’s warm and bright presence.
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For Sho’s 5th death anniversary, Atsumu thought on taking him to the beach once again. Like their usual date.
But he realized, the framed photo would never replace Sho’s warm and bright presence.
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“You taught me various things. But you never taught me how to pick myself up after losing you.” He cried.
He didn’t cry on the funeral.
Even the days after.
Until it took months.
Years.
This is the first time Atsumu cried after Sho’s death.
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He didn’t cry on the funeral.
Even the days after.
Until it took months.
Years.
This is the first time Atsumu cried after Sho’s death.
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Maybe this is his “letting go”, he thought.
Letting his anger, pain, frustration, fears, and sadness go by the tears he all held captive for 5 years.
It was not easy. It was like hell for 5 long years.
He never thought going here would cause this much pain either.
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Letting his anger, pain, frustration, fears, and sadness go by the tears he all held captive for 5 years.
It was not easy. It was like hell for 5 long years.
He never thought going here would cause this much pain either.
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After hours of mourning and weeping for the death of his loved one, the tears finally stopped.
He felt lighter. Eyes puffy but heart lighter. He looked at Sho’s framed photo.
“I love you so much, Sho. Thank you for spending time with me today.”
He packed the bag.
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He felt lighter. Eyes puffy but heart lighter. He looked at Sho’s framed photo.
“I love you so much, Sho. Thank you for spending time with me today.”
He packed the bag.
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He stood up, stretched, and stared at the setting sun. He smiled as the color of the sky reminded him of Sho’s orange hair.
The sun is like Sho. Warm, bright, gives him energy, gives him something to look forward to.
It sets. It disappears for the moon to take over.
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The sun is like Sho. Warm, bright, gives him energy, gives him something to look forward to.
It sets. It disappears for the moon to take over.
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But it rises again the next day. It comes back.
Atsumu now believes that Sho never left him. Maybe physically, but Sho’s warmth never left his heart.
He realized that he’s glad the sun exists. It became a daily reminder that Sho is there with him somewhere.
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Atsumu now believes that Sho never left him. Maybe physically, but Sho’s warmth never left his heart.
He realized that he’s glad the sun exists. It became a daily reminder that Sho is there with him somewhere.
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He walked back to his car, shoved the bag and Sho’s framed photo on the gunshot seat and stared at the sky for the last time. Twilight is beautiful.
He thought,
Sho’s love will never disappear even if the sun sets.
It is tattooed on his memory.
It is tattooed on his heart.
He thought,
Sho’s love will never disappear even if the sun sets.
It is tattooed on his memory.
It is tattooed on his heart.
— end.
