I didn't write this but will say, I've never had so many men try to court me (full on dates, trips, etc.) than in any place other than Italy. I fully support Black women being loved, courted, and treated like the queens we are. Interesting piece. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/14/travel/italy-black-women-love.html

Ooh ok, here come the DMs. So lemme add, I think it's important to note that DUH you should not be with someone who fetishizes you/your race, but also important to note that fetishization happens within communities too.

Like I think we often think of interracial relationships as one person possibly fetishizing the other person, and do not get me wrong, Black women are highly fetishized women (read my book) but I've also noticed some men fetishize lighter women of their same race.

What really stood out to me in this piece is that a lot of these Black women travel to other countries to find love because they are not getting that from their own community or in their own country. Black women should not have to travel anywhere to be loved and courted.

But I also think Black women who are not being loved and courted, or are made to feel like they're too loud, too dark, hair isn't this enough, body isn't that enough, should be able to go wherever the hell they want to explore love. This thread could get long.

Dating as a Black woman, especially a dark skin Black woman is so complex. I can't even fit it all into a thread. I truly believe we are judged more than anyone else for dating outside our race when we choose to, and often that judgement comes from a person who...

was not trying to love or court us to begin with. Exhibit A) Serena Williams.

I also think, for whatever reason, there is this belief that once someone dates outside their race-that's it, they're done dating within their own race for good. I also have never seen that happen with anyone in real life and maybe that's where the judgment comes from.