When COVID-19 hit, politicians in Texas used it to shut down abortion clinics. Esmarie decided to safely did her own abortion using pills. Esmarie’s story reminds us why we must decriminalize abortion, increase access to self-managed abortion & #BeBoldEndHyde.
@caitlinblunnie

I knew right away I didn’t want to continue the pregnancy. The day I found out I was pregnant, I saw all over Facebook that Texas was using the coronavirus pandemic as an excuse to shutdown clinics. I thought, I’m not going to be able to have this abortion.

It was also scary because of everything that was going on. Classes were moved online. My hours were cut to 10 hours a week. I was barely able to afford food. My Medicaid health insurance wouldn’t pay for the abortion. It felt awful. Everybody was relying on me.

Abortion clinics were closed, but the anti-abortion crisis pregnancy centers were open. They try to tell you “we’re going to help you do this, we’re going to help you do that.” They told my friends the same thing, but once the baby was there, there was no help.

I spent the two hour bus ride back home thinking, “Who am I going to tell? How am I going to get money? How am I going to get my prenatal appointments?”

I started reaching out to anybody who could help me get to a different state. A few years ago, a friend out of state helped me get an abortion. But I had no support. When they asked, do you want to travel or do you want to do it at home? I said I would do it at home.

Because of the pandemic, it took a while for the pills to arrive. I made plans to stay at a friend’s place. I didn’t tell him about the pills. I’d had a medication abortion before. I knew what to expect.

I weigh 98lbs & I have low iron & blood pressure, so I passed out from the bleeding. My friend took me to the emergency room. I said I was having a miscarriage because I was scared I could get arrested for doing my own abortion & Medicaid insurance pays for miscarriage care.

I didn’t tell my family or friends because they’re going to judge me. They wouldn’t be supportive. I wish I didn’t have to go through all of this, but I’m glad I was able to get an abortion. My abortions are now part of me now. I couldn’t imagine where I would be at right now.

To politicians who closed the clinics: Abortion is literally a basic human right and you took it away. That wasn’t right at all. Everyone loves someone who had an abortion.

To everyone who needs an abortion: You have the right to decide what’s best for you and you deserve love.