@JoeBiden and Chris Wallace ( @FoxNewsSunday) misstep last night was they allowed Trump's verbal abuse to put them on the defensive. That is the primary objective of the verbal abuser. It's *not* a misunderstanding. It's about control. (con't)

I know how to handle verbally abusive, manipulative, toxic ppl by virtue of my life experience and skills, which I won't get into. So, what should @JoeBiden and Wallace ( @FoxNewsSunday) have done. One doesn't need to be an abuser to confront *bad faith* verbal abuse. (As an

aside, sometimes folks who are acting predominately in good faith can make slips-- so I write *bad faith*-- my comments aren't about a breach of civility. Also, we need to listen to what people are saying, even if they aren't saying it in the *right* or *respectful* way if they

are operating on good faith.) When someone is being verbally abusive in bad faith it is *critical* to immediately go on the offensive. This does not mean return abuse, but to tell the truth to them about them. Instead of saying "That's a lie," say,

"Your verbally abuse is a tactic to control the conversation, because you cant handle situations where you are not in control. You fall apart. You are unprepared." (That's just on example.) You would be surprised how powerful telling the truth to a verbal abuser about

themselves is if you expect nothing from them in return. This isn't a theory-- I've done this many times-- what's key is keeping the focus on what the verbally abusive person is doing (and you can even use them to educate and empower other observers).

Expect nothing-- use the verbally abusive personal as a means to make your point or get your job done. This is practical advice. Folks who are verbal abusers and manipulators are very afraid of scrutiny and being observed-- you disempower them and can even

scare the sh*t out of them by being a good mirror. Try it next time you have to handle someone like Trump. Whatever happens, you will find the truth can be powerful (and even good) for itself (context matters, tho-- larger discussion).