I feel like everyone needs a lift right now so I'm going to tell this story even though it's deeply embarrassing.

TMI incoming.

Since I'm single and no one's seeing my fabulous nudity anyway, I decided 2020 was the perfect time to get back on the laser hair removal bandwagon while I can easily hide the regrowth. This includes my ladyparts.

I'd already had a few sessions on various bodily bits by Vag Week, so I knew the lovely laser therapist quite well.

Relevant: she is not from the UK and has a slight accent. This becomes important shortly.

Now, I don't know if you've ever had your ladybits zinged with a laser, but FYI, it's an option for them to go even further and get all up between your bum cheeks. Also, any area you're going to zap with a laser needs to be shaved first.

I had forgotten the bum bit and consequently had not shaved.

The wonderful therapist elected to do this for me, which frankly is above and beyond the call of duty and much appreciated by a red-faced me, laying on my side, holding my non-blushing cheeks open.

It was at this point she said something that made my blood run cold

"Did you wipe today?"

The silence lasted approximately fifty thousand years as I struggled to process what would prompt this question and how on earth I was going to answer it

Eventually, all I managed was a very weak "er, sorry, what?" and she repeated the question with one important difference:

"Did you *work* today?"

I genuinely don't know if it was the buzzing of my anal hairs being fried, my own embarrassment, my cloth ears, her accent or a combination thereof, but it was the worst thing that has ever happened while having my bumhole lasered and that is QUITE A HIGH BAR.

The end.