1/ Starmer in September. A summary of the Brylcreemed shite hawk. [A THREAD].

September arrives and Parliament returns. The Gov't makes the quiet but extremely significant announcement that it's reviewing the judiciary system...
2/ They want to review if “executive decisions should be non-judicable”.

Basically, they want the Gov't to be above the law.
3/ Good job Starmer is opposition then. The former legal eagle, QC, and Director of Public Prosecutions should be dead against this attack on democracy and see the parallels of Germany's rise to fascism in the 1930s...
4/ Imagine my surprise when Starmer doesn't even acknowledge this Nazi-style power grab.

I'm getting this tiny vibe he isn't a forensic legal mastermind after all.
5/ Then Priti Patel pushes out a propaganda ad attacking lawyers that are defending refugees and forcing the Gov't to obey the law by calling them "activists".

Starmer QC says nothing. OK, it's a big vibe now.
6/ Instead, Sir Keir appears on far-right aficionado Nick Ferrari's LBC radio show and was asked if he "will back unions protecting workers against being forced back to unsafe work?".

The correct answer is 'Yes' but Keir's answer was 'we'd have to look at it'.
7/ Honestly, what is the point of a Labour leader that doesn't back the unions?
8/ BlowJo then randomly accuses Starmer of working with and supporting an "IRA terrorist sympathiser" for the last 5 years.

Yes, this tired, disproven, untrue slur on the former leader and peace prize winner Jeremy Corbyn was dragged up again...
9/ Keith became Karen and was outraged: "take it back" he yelled.

It seems he was actually triggered by the fact BJ had mentioned the IRA and didn't attempt to call out the actual slur and defend #Corbyn.

So fuck him.
10/ 153 days into the "New New" Labour project and some good news finally arrives when a policy is announced that everyone can get behind: Ending child poverty.

11/ Problem is it's professional footballer @MarcusRashford that's spearheading the campaign and not anyone in the Labour leadership.

12/ Next chancellor Rishi Sunak's plans are leaked that he intends to make the rich pay for Coronavirus by increasing the tax on profits made by companies by +5% and to increase capital gains tax.
13/ Starmer, worried this looks a tinsy bit socialist, defends the rich by saying "now is not the time to talk about raising taxes"

I've said for a while that if you claim to be left-wing and you support Kier Starmer then you ain't really left-wing.

Can you see that now?
14/ Journalist @brokenbottleboy wrote: “The Labour Party is dead. Rename the corpse The Managerial Party and have done with it. These feckless cumshedders have nothing to do with labour or the demands of workers. They’re suits through and through”.
15/ I had to google what a cumshedder is but otherwise A*.

So it seems that the Labour party appears to be following the Lib Dem tactic of not really appealing to anybody at all.
16/ And talking of Lib Dems, their new leader started work. He's a knight of the realm too.

We now have the choice of a Sir, another Sir or the 6th cousin of the Queen. That's 3 different shades of the establishment NOT representing you.
17/ Meanwhile, @MichelBarnier says he's "disappointed", "concerned" and that a "deal seems unlikely". Even his UK counterpart David Frost spoke of "little progress".

It seems certain we are getting a no-deal, fall off a cliff style exit...
18/ Former arch-remainer and 2nd referendum activist Starmer remains suspiciously quiet on Brexit these days as does the "bollox to Brexit" Lib Dem leader when he says they won't oppose Brexit any longer.
19/ And so just like that Brexit opposition disappears!

It's almost as if the highly divisive approach to Brexit was simply to rid @jeremycorbyn and prevent a bit of democratic socialism in the UK.
20/ This was confirmed when Starmer was asked in an interview on channel 4 when he said that Brexit "just needs to be got on with" and that "the leave-remain argument is over."

Well, Keir, it was over in 2016 but you revived it in 2019. Why was that?
21/ Then @KayBurley off of Sky news temporarily took over as leader of the opposition from Marcus Rashford when she criticises the Gov't for lining up misogynist, climate change denier, and homophobe Tony Abbott (former Auzzie PM), to be the UK's trade envoy.
22/ Starmer was silent on this but an Australian Reddit user said:

"if the solution to your problem is Tony Abbott then you are truly fucked."
23/ Along with Kay and Marcus, a vast array of public figures have made the Gov't squirm and arguably done a better job at holding the Gov't to account than Starmer over these last few months.
24/ My hat goes off to the unlikely frontbench team of @piersmorgan, @GaryLineker, Miriam Margolyes, some A level students, Stormzy, @MrMichaelSpicer, the 4 blokes from Led @ByDonkeys, a tub of @benandjerrysUK, and @planetjedward who have all done a better job than Sir Brylcreem.
25/ Next, democratically elected Leader of Scottish LP is pressured to resign by the Blair-backed, neoliberal "New New" Labour party for no apparent reason. According to Wikipedia, he's a socialist, cares for people, and was against the Iraq war.

That's 3 reasons then.
26/ Then former Labour member and donor, Sir Alan Sugar appears everywhere to insist we all go back to work. The billionaire celebrity spiv has millions tied up in commercial office space that's losing him money.
27/ Sugar is not a virologist or an epidemiologist but he is a Blairite that hates Jeremy Corbyn so Starmer obviously joins in and encourages people back to work too.
28/ I'll remind you that this was during a period when 3,000 new cases per day were being reported, no track and trace app existed, R was above 1, and the Gov't actually ran out of Covid tests.

But Keir wanted us back to work.
29/ Also, during the leadership contest, Starmer bigged up his activist image by saying he supported protests that stopped Murdoch's papers being printed at the Wapping print plant in the 1980s...
30/ But when climate activists Extinction Rebellion stopped Murdoch's papers being printed in September he predictably condemned them.
31/ So far, I've counted a dozen things he said to members during the leadership campaign that he's since u-turned on.

When are we going to learn?
32/ It's almost as if he only needed to trick the members into thinking he was an activist, a socialist, a unity candidate, a remainer, and anti-Murdoch to win the leadership and now he wants to be PM he's suddenly the complete opposite.
33/ Schools: and one week after schools open we find out 250 are already dealing with new infections.

Teaching Unions and Labour socialist @RLong_Bailey have been against Gov't plans for months saying they were unworkable and a shambles.
34/ Remember when Starmer sacked RBL and said that schools must return in September "no ifs, no buts"?

It later emerges that Keir sent a secret letter supporting Johnson's plans to open schools.

By the end of September, we have 2,072 schools with positive cases. Jeez!
35/ His 'StarmTrooper' supporters constantly remind me that he's "being really tactical & clever". I say he's "being really shit".

Then a poll comes out, putting "no-one" ahead of Johnson and Starmer for best Prime Minister. So it seems quite a few agree with me.
36/ Then Keir Starmer, the Opposition leader often lauded for his legal expertise, didn't utter a word about the UK Government openly admitting to breaking international law "in a very specific and limited way."
37/ All 5 of the PMs predecessors condemned the attempt to break the withdrawal agreement. Starmer hasn't.

In the absence of Starmer, Ed Milliband had a go at taking on Boris. He systemically took the spiv apart like a test cricketer at a village charity match.
38/ Someone should give Ed have a go at being opposition leader. Oh no, wait a minute. Imagine the chaos?
39/ Ed was standing in because Keir was self-isolating.

Apparently, a member of Starmer's household was showing symptoms of #socialism and he thought best to lock himself away for a few days.

*edit* I meant #Corona, bloody predictive text
40/ The UK then descends into chaos as it runs out of Covid tests. Keir managed to get a test because his wife works in the NHS. Meaning he only missed the most important constitutional vote in modern history that turned the UK into a pariah state. That's all.
41/ As cases rose to an estimated 20,000 per day, Keir steam-rolled on and trotted out the "jobs jobs jobs" empty slogan again. But this time - check this - they had a poster of him wearing a high-vis jacket with a worker that was pointing at something. Genius.
42/ Then on the eve of their first virtual party conference, Starmer unveiled a new slogan: "A new Leadership".

Just 5 months after becoming a new leader.

The internet quickly photoshopped this new slogan into "A Blue Leadership". I love you guys. Keep up the great work.
43/ Starmer opened the conference by announcing a new policy saying that the Labour party supports Rent Deferment [*really?...sigh*].

This was actually a policy from 3 months ago but this time they had a sexy infographic.
44/ 6 months ago, the previous shadow Chancellor and socialist, @johnmcdonnellMP pushed Labour to support rent cancellation rather than deferment.

So, by deferring rent, this new policy is really supporting Landlords rather than tenents.
45/ Imagine not supporting the tenents? Surely not? But on the day the evictions ban ended, Starmer said "Labour will support whatever measures the government takes".

God, he's a better Tory than most of the Tories.
46/ Back in the leadership election, Starmer claimed he would bring unity back to the party. But at the virtual conference, Starmer's right-hand woman, Rachel Reeves, declared that she supported a "purge of Corbyn supporters". That doesn't sound very unity to me, Keir?
47/ Over the next few hours, the "new new" Labour party released a sudden flurry of 3-word-slogans. The focus groups have discovered that England likes these very much.
48/ So far we've had:

- Jobs, Jobs, Jobs
- Under new management
- A new leadership
- Recover, Retrain, Rebuild
- Opportunity, Family and Security
- Britain First [*really?*]
49/ Yes, "towns" fan and centrist MP, Lisa Nandy told PoliticsLive that the Labour party was "putting Britain first". Are we really going there, Lisa?
50/ Yes. It seems Starmer's patronising attempt to win back the "Red Wall" is to dangle a 'Nationalism and patriotism are cool' slogan in front of them and expect them to bite.
51/ This is despite patronising the "Red Wall" in 2019 by telling them that they needed to vote on Brexit again because they weren't smart enough to get it right the first time.
52/ It's depressing that Labour doesn't realise that by repeating your opponent's values, you don't really steal their votes, you just strengthen & legitimise their narrative.
53/ If voters go into the polling booth thinking 'I'm putting Britain first' then they'll vote right-wing and not right-wing-lite.
54/ Nandy was also asked if Starmer's pledges on an increase in income tax for top 5%, an increase in corporation tax, and the renationalisation of rail, mail, and utilities had been dropped...

She said, "I expect so".
55/ Then the Labour Party demonstrated it was under new management by ending its own furlough scheme a month before the national scheme and letting party employees go, in the midst of a global pandemic and on the cusp of an economic depression.
56/ Then to top it off Starmer tells Labour conference: "we deserved to lose the last election".

Who EXACTLY is 'we', Sir Keith? The hundreds of thousands of ordinary people that gave up their time to campaign? How very dare you!
57/ Immediately after the conference, the Tories tested the new Labour right-wing value of 'Security' by putting forward a wide-reaching bill that potentially legalises war crimes and puts our troops at risk.
58/ So "New New" Labour HQ said "it will fight to protect our armed forces and their right to justice". So far so good.

Then the new leadership whipped MPs to abstain on the bill. Wait, what?
59/ Yeah, celebrated Human rights barrister, Sir Keir Starmer, abstained on legislating against torture and war crimes and then sacked 3 socialist front-benchers for actually voting against it, including @NadiaWhittomeMP.
60/ His people, the Starmeroids, also went to far-right site, Guido Fawkes, and told them before they told her. New management indeed.
61/ In the last 6 months, socialist MP Ms Whittome has been sacked twice. Once because she spoke out against PPE shortages in a care home she volunteered in and the other time because she spoke out against war crimes. What a brilliant testament to this country that is.
62/ Next Starmer appeared in an interview with Andrew Marr that also appeared on the TV show #Gogglebox. One of the cast said:

"if you played a drinking game and had to take a shot everytime he said he supports the Gov't you would be dead by the end of the interview".
63/ With cash running out because the membership of the party is rapidly dwindling, Starmer announces a new initiative - an elite membership into his inner circle.

It seems the new management are now "for the few, not the many".
64/ With Labour asking rich Capitalists and the Murdoch press to back them it means that if they ever win they'll have to pay them back.

The new Gov't would be in the pockets of the elite and would depend on them to stay in power. This is pointless and won't bring change.
65/ It is simple. If the Blairites and Labour-right had given Corbyn a fair chance hundreds of thousands of supporters and members would all now back Starmer.

They didn’t so we won’t. They made the new rules. Now get in the sea.
66/ And if Starmer loses it will not be the fault of leftist and young voters. It will be the fault of Starmer for not energizing and reaching out to the growing number of leftist and younger voters who want to see change.
67/ Voters do not lose elections. Disingenuous, shill candidates who take voters for granted lose elections.

[drops mic]
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