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Why I didn't watch the #debate:
Donald Trump is an abuser.
One of the most powerful tools abusers have is words. If you do not listen, they lose much of their power and control.
Absent yourself--physically if possible; mentally if necessary--and abusers lose. [1]
Donald Trump is an abuser.
One of the most powerful tools abusers have is words. If you do not listen, they lose much of their power and control.
Absent yourself--physically if possible; mentally if necessary--and abusers lose. [1]
Abusers know this.
If they can't physically trap you and FORCE you to listen, they convince you that you HAVE to listen. That a normal person would, or a nice person would, or you owe them your attention because they're your parent or child, friend, boss, or President. [2]
If they can't physically trap you and FORCE you to listen, they convince you that you HAVE to listen. That a normal person would, or a nice person would, or you owe them your attention because they're your parent or child, friend, boss, or President. [2]
This is always bullshit. You don't ever have to agree to be abused.
But if you fall for it, they say things designed to make you feel powerless and frightened. And anything less than immediate counterattack is interpreted as support/agreement. [3]
But if you fall for it, they say things designed to make you feel powerless and frightened. And anything less than immediate counterattack is interpreted as support/agreement. [3]
A person's (probably learned) response to abusive behavior says a lot.
One type submits, attempting to mollify the abuser, or reason and negotiate.
One type resists, via disagreement, absence, or both.
A third type becomes abusers themselves. [4]
One type submits, attempting to mollify the abuser, or reason and negotiate.
One type resists, via disagreement, absence, or both.
A third type becomes abusers themselves. [4]
These three reactions explain American politics since 2015. People's relationship to Trump is not political but familial. He is not primarily a leader, but an abuser.
The cult-like devotion; the endless attempts to excuse or minimize; and the utter loathing. [5]
The cult-like devotion; the endless attempts to excuse or minimize; and the utter loathing. [5]
Here's my 2c: Once you KNOW a person is an abuser…
…There is no point in listening to them.
…There is no point in "debating" them.
…Don't even try to understand them.
It's dangerous to do this; they interpret it as submission, which encourages more abuse. [6]
…There is no point in listening to them.
…There is no point in "debating" them.
…Don't even try to understand them.
It's dangerous to do this; they interpret it as submission, which encourages more abuse. [6]
Just observe, and once you know, act decisively to protect yourself & minimize their destructiveness.
It's better to overreact than underreact. Once the abuser can no longer do harm, you can ponder. But first, protect the vulnerable, including yourself. [7]
It's better to overreact than underreact. Once the abuser can no longer do harm, you can ponder. But first, protect the vulnerable, including yourself. [7]
The rise of Trump says one thing about our America: Abusers are super-common. Every family? Maybe. A person like him could not have risen otherwise. His is not a political movement, but an acting-out of a kind of familial trauma.
Want to save America? Break the cycle. [8]
Want to save America? Break the cycle. [8]
Act firmly & decisively to remove this abuser from our lives.
First, vote for Biden.
Next, do whatever's next.
But commit to doing whatever is necessary. You'll sleep better. [9]
First, vote for Biden.
Next, do whatever's next.
But commit to doing whatever is necessary. You'll sleep better. [9]
Don't expect abusers to change.
Don't expect mollifiers/negotiators to change, either.
Just protect, and act from, your dignity & power.
So that's why I didn't watch the #debate.
I pray for (but ignore) Trump and his cult. They're working out a dynamic I cannot change. [10]
Don't expect mollifiers/negotiators to change, either.
Just protect, and act from, your dignity & power.
So that's why I didn't watch the #debate.
I pray for (but ignore) Trump and his cult. They're working out a dynamic I cannot change. [10]
