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Allow me to present to you this masterpiece, which I call "fish about to have a bad day", a thread.
#ShesGotThreads /1
#ShesGotThreads /1
Before we continue, I've got a new video coming very soon and we're at final sign ups this month to get your name in the credits or donate a very smol dolla in honour of me getting stuck in a (freshwater) crocodile river in the dark for this story. 
https://www.patreon.com/gotlegsmacro
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https://www.patreon.com/gotlegsmacro
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So prior to this, the small fish (right) was doing a swim and maybe worrying about breakfast. She was reflecting on the 
naps she had earlier in the sun. She was thinking of maybe of playing her favourite game with the other fish: anxious dodgem cars.
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naps she had earlier in the sun. She was thinking of maybe of playing her favourite game with the other fish: anxious dodgem cars./3
She was vaguely aware that there were things out there likely to eat her, but she was keeping a keen boggle eye out either side of her head. She had, of course, survived so far. The odds were in her favour.
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She did not notice as she swam by a small straw protruding from the surface of the water. She did not go, "oh a small straw, that could be the butt snorkel of an aquatic yet air-breathing predator such as a Water Scorpion".
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As a side note, can we please reflect on why such a mechanism could be named a "caudal process/respiratory siphon" when the option of "butt snorkel" was both willing and available? These things have me shaking my head.
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Anyway back to our fish about to have a bad day. As she cruised on by the butt snorkel, she also failed to notice the fact it was attached to a silt-adorned surfboard which was, in turn, attached to a pair of big nippy nippies.
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These front legs have long since given up on any kind of locomotive use, and are now repurposed by Mistress Evolution to catch and hold things such as prey and human toes.
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The fish did not fail to notice (but only because it's not visible) the predator's waiting rostrum. This is the Other Straw, the venomous kind that is used for drinking fish like a milkshake. And baby froggo. And invertebrates. They're not fussy.
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This is a piercing, sucking, death straw: killing everything except the turtles because it isn't plastic, it's biodegradable. I don't want to speak too soon though, maybe some baby turtles are really bite sized. Hmmm. Perhaps this is not a viable drinking straw substitute.
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What happened to the fish? As I squatted precariously on a slippery rock in a dark river, my torch batteries died and I was forced to abandon the scene and waddle like a blind, overladen penguin towards the bank. This story is up to your imagination now. Use it wisely.
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