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I pretend like I am able to just detach but rt... that really hurts. I be real hurt when I make bonds, just for them to break and be gone.
I wish could express my feelings freely. But Iâm scared that how I feel might scare you away.
It makes me disgustingly anxious, dealing with ppl when I comes to my feelings.
I hate feeling like I need you! Bc it always seems, like once I get comfortable you become uncomfortable with me. I feel clingy. And then I push you away. Even though I want you to stay.
I hate this about myself fr. I wish I could make it stop.
I try to be the energy I want to see in the room but when the room doesnât return the vibes. It breaks me.
My anxiety tells me you hate me. And are bothered by me.
I have a problem. Like I always bury myself in someone else problems. I try to fix them bc idk how to fix myself. And once they no longer need me I feel empty.
I feel toxic. I donât understand why I bother. I try to bury these thoughts in sleep but they invade my dreams and wake me up.
Iâm sure ima be alone Forever. Even though Iâm not alone. At least I donât think. He says I can call but idk if he even likes me like that.
See, thatâs the thing my anxiety adds doubt. Now I canât get that out of my head.
I wish I didnât have to sleep alone. I bet if I wasnât the thoughts would go away.
Ig itâs enough now. Gn
