Today a "mentor in medicine" I once looked up to harassed/talked down to me/my dreams (in "good fun") *in front of my parents* after she met them for the first time. It didn't dawn on me until hrs later that this wasnt okay. I had to cry. The trauma of medicine is so unrelenting.

When I told my parents my feelings, perhaps the most heartbreaking thing for me as the first in my fam to become a doctor is that I am taught that I am "overreacting", have to "get over it", and "be thankful that she at least saw me".

This is called familial/ancestral trauma.

I share this publicly bc this is familiar for first gen/BIPOC students who are used to silencing themselves and deferring to people in power. Familial trauma due to generations of simply trying to survive reinforces this silence.

Implicit bias training can't train you for this.

Thank y'all for the support. As said by @sarasteinmd so beautifully, these cycles of violence are vicious and they **end with me**. We will have it no longer.

Also wanna plug that these realizations happened while I was meditating/processing my day. I asked myself the root of why I didn't realize this was okay in the moment, delved deep into things I've normalized, and a commitment to not allow such behavior again. #BernieBehavior

Tl;dr:
-Narcissistic behavior and projections are never acceptable regardless of “good fun”.
-Don’t mess with my parents!!
-Being first gen involves healing wounds of your parents & ancestors.
-Have compassion for yourself.
-Feel your emotions. Crying is good.
-Own your light