An astonishing blast of drivel, a cannon loaded with offal and rusted car parts, shot into the face of a dying leper. Prion disease and polyester underwear and vinyl furniture and nails under the fingernails of innocent orphans and fire alarms at 2am and eating at Applebee's.

Drivel. Unaccountable, unfocused, unhinged, unsanitary, uncontained mutual drivel. The stained adult diapers of civic discourse. A mutual, utter, extreme fuckshop.

I never run out of superlatives, so strap in.

Licking a battery while you're asleep.
Being duct taped to an open sewer pipe.
A car fire full of famine victims.
A sad two star hotel in a ruined regional town where the walls are made of screaming and the beds are soaked in muriatic acid and broken dolls.

Ever death metal album I've ever heard, which is most of them, treated as some kind of linguistic cosplay.

The noise made when two steaks, riven with BSE and variants of HIV that have unfavorable grown broken teeth,bare slapped together in front of a ribbon microphone soaked in the vomit of the saddest man from the saddest place.

More embarrassment than a thousand fever dreams of a million bare-arsed high school howlers.

A Tower of Babel made of contempt made physical, of sawdust, of lice who only eat dead foot skin.

A child blowing in a dandelion which suddenly explodes into napalm. Napalm that screams and steals your wallet and bites your mum.

A spectacle that would have had Sisyphus with his head in the oven, with pockets full of enough coins to feed the meter.

Blather, taken into a lab at Veridian Dynamics, and equipped with lasers explicitly designed to burn the concept of taste.

AND DON'T FORGET THE AFTERTHOUGHTS GIVEN BY QUASI-PEOPLE WHO ARE TWO LOOSE GENES AWAY FROM BEING GIBBONS WITH PROFOUND HEAD INJURIES.

That concludes my political discourse.

Back yourself, believe in evidence, maintain your empathy, trust that America is full of people who are just as embarrassed as you, and harvest your rage.

HARVEST YOUR GODDAMN RAGE.

Btw I am available for children's parties.