Why are you all doing this to yourselves? What do you hope to gain here? You don’t need to watch this. You know how you’re voting. Read a book, watch Parks and Rec for the 42nd time, pet your dog. You don’t need this stress and frustration in your life. I assure you.

On the off chance there still exists people in the world so ill-informed that they are undecided in this election, I promise you they aren’t watching this, they aren’t on twitter and nothing you or anything these two old men will do will sway them.

How do you not get by now that Trump judges his success by how many people watch him? Four years of this and you are all still falling into the same trap, making yourselves miserable and fueling his ego in the process. Do literally anything else. I beg of you.

All Trump has to do to “win” this debate is point to the ratings. Content doesn’t matter. No minds will be changed.

Biden cannot win because the golden rule says so. Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Well, one of the golden rules, anyway. Along with don’t be a dick. Two very important rules in civilized society. Take them to heart and tell your friends about it.