not Catholic, and not knowledgeable about @Zo_bo_fo_sho's situation, so this is a jumping off point rather than a comment: https://twitter.com/Zo_bo_fo_sho/status/1311087043485679616

I've felt this before, and I do think there can be undo pressure to make sure one's Christian life is different from every conceivable non-Christian in a way that's immediately noticeable from looking at a list of moral commitments/activities.

I do think Christ brings a lot of unique changes, and I do wonder whether a lot of Christians might gain something by being more generous with money, forgiveness, etc. etc.

just saying that I think the primary reference should be Christ and not a bar set by a Society.

especially true when you live among non-Christians who have similar commitments. Jews and Muslims have a lot of similar ideas; some non-religious and vaguely deistic folk adhere to a more conservative sexual ethic, etc.

obviously there's something to "holding out the word of life *as you shine like stars in the universe*," but also sometimes Christ's commands seem like pretty basic stuff.

reserve sex for your spouse, be generous to the poor, speak kindly and not maliciously, worship God from a pure heart, offer all kinds of prayers and petitions to God, speak the truth to one another in love, etc. Nothing necessarily heroic there.

not saying it's never costly, risky, or difficult. it can be deadly, even! but there's a certain frame of mind in which one looks at it all and says, "Is that really it? Anyone might do those things!"

not to bog this thread down in a fraught past that for many of us is already slipping away, but I do think the "as a Christian you should stand out" teaching that a lot of us got has a weird vagueness to it.

Stand out when? Where? Compared to what or whom? On what scale, to who's eyes?

"People should ask you, 'What's different about you? I want what you have."

I have a relative who almost died in a car wreck and, when the bystanders came to help, looked up at them deliriously, with blood in his teeth, and said, "It's all gonna be OK, it's all gonna be OK, Jesus is here," and several of them became Christians because of that.

So that's cool! AND that's maybe the first time this ever happened to him, or to anyone I know personally.