Read on Twitter
Tonight's debate coverage is brought to you by alcohol.
Alcohol: It's 2020, Have Another.
Alcohol: It's 2020, Have Another.
Since the debate is American, I'll be opening with a Manhattan.
Since it's a debate between two old white men, I'll be following up with an old fashioned.
Since it's a debate between two old white men, I'll be following up with an old fashioned.
Tonight's debate topics include: Person, woman, man, camera, and TV.
Remember 2016? My book opens with election night, drinking, video games, and only gets better from there.
My book, you should buy it.
That way, I can buy more drinking and video games.
Also, the book offers a roadmap to better democracy. https://gooselane.com/products/too-dumb-for-democracy
My book, you should buy it.
That way, I can buy more drinking and video games.
Also, the book offers a roadmap to better democracy. https://gooselane.com/products/too-dumb-for-democracy
Fun fact: of the 45 presidents in US history, only 10 have sought re-election and failed to win it.
The last was in 1992: George H.W. Bush.
Below, you can read his lips: No new taxes. (There were new taxes.)
The last was in 1992: George H.W. Bush.
Below, you can read his lips: No new taxes. (There were new taxes.)
A quick guide to debate watching:
- Debates don't usually matter much
- OMG that game changer! (It didn't change anything)
- There could be opportunities that emerge from the debates, including $$$, or costs such as lost time or shifts in the narrative/focus
- Debates don't usually matter much
- OMG that game changer! (It didn't change anything)
- There could be opportunities that emerge from the debates, including $$$, or costs such as lost time or shifts in the narrative/focus
Have debates in the US ever decided a presidential election? Maybe. Probably not. If so, it would have been
- 1960: Kennedy versus Nixon
and/or
- 2000: Bush versus Gore
- 1960: Kennedy versus Nixon
and/or
- 2000: Bush versus Gore
And the debate begins with moderator Chris Wallace. President Trump would like to remind you he's Mike Wallace's son and not as good.
Wallace, fun fact, is a registered Democrat.
Wallace, fun fact, is a registered Democrat.
The candidates will not shake hands.
Okay but no one should ever shake hands, it's gross.
Okay but no one should ever shake hands, it's gross.
"A lot of people have been waiting for this night." -- Chris Wallace
And we have our first lie of the night.
And we have our first lie of the night.
Trump opens with the line "elections have consequences."
No fucking kidding.
No fucking kidding.
Biden argues the people have a right to have a say in the appointment of a US Supreme Court justice through elections.
Also says he's "not opposed to the justice." Ummm. Are you not?
Also says he's "not opposed to the justice." Ummm. Are you not?
The debate now seems to be over whether a president is elected for three or four years.
Biden: "I am the Democratic Party right now."
Classic Louis XIV.
Classic Louis XIV.
My god. I hope you like your 90 minutes to last 7 hours.
The debate moves on to whether or not Chris Wallace is allowed to moderate the debate he's moderating.
Biden: "I'm going to get lucky tonight."
Honestly, I blame Buckley and Vidal for this.
And the Supreme Court section of the debate continues with more discussion of...healthcare and...voting?
None of this makes any sense.
None of this makes any sense.
"Will you shut up, man?" - Joe Biden
"Keep yapping man." - Joe Biden
Kennedy vs. Nixon quality here.
"Keep yapping man." - Joe Biden
Kennedy vs. Nixon quality here.
Not since Romulus Augustus debated Odoacer has a debate been so meaningful.
There are hints of a genuine debate on covid and vaccine availability.
Trump says there will be a vaccine "very soon" and Biden says you can't trust Trump...
And now we're talking about who is smarter. So, the "debate" lasted 2 minutes.
Trump says there will be a vaccine "very soon" and Biden says you can't trust Trump...
And now we're talking about who is smarter. So, the "debate" lasted 2 minutes.
Does anyone else wish there were commercial breaks?
Joe Biden prepared for this and Trump didn't.
Seems like Trump was the one who chose wisely.
Seems like Trump was the one who chose wisely.
Trump says the economy is in a V shaped recovery -- Biden says it's K shaped -- and now we all await for the question about economic recovery not to be answered.
But this is a real question that deserves a discussion.
(It will not get one.)
But this is a real question that deserves a discussion.
(It will not get one.)
Jesus Christ it's only been 39 minutes.
"Do I get my time back?" - Joe Biden
Do any of us?
Do any of us?
Now we move on to Trump's taxes.
Wallace: Is it true you paid $750 in federal income taxes in those two years.
Trump: repeats "under leveraged" a lot and says "I don't want to pay tax" after saying he paid millions.
Wallace: Is it true you paid $750 in federal income taxes in those two years.
Trump: repeats "under leveraged" a lot and says "I don't want to pay tax" after saying he paid millions.
"You're the worst president America has ever had." - Joe Biden
*stares in Andrew Jackson*
*stares in Andrew Jackson*
Biden moves on to talking about buying American and Biden is reminded that's not the question.
And I think we're talking about taxes but we may never know.
And I think we're talking about taxes but we may never know.
Biden is now on to trade deficits and...welcome to the 1980s. And now it's on to Hunter Biden.
Biden looks like he's gonna snap and Wallace keeps yelling "Mr. President" like he's Aaron Sorkin writing a script.
Biden looks like he's gonna snap and Wallace keeps yelling "Mr. President" like he's Aaron Sorkin writing a script.
At least America isn't a nuclear power and global hegemon.
Now we're on to...who is interrupting more. And now, race.
Oh god.
Oh god.
On race:
Biden: It's about equity, it's about equality, it's about decency...equality for the whole of America.
Calls out the "good people on both sides" line from Trump. For the first time, Biden has some effective momentum and calls out Trump's dog whistling.
Biden: It's about equity, it's about equality, it's about decency...equality for the whole of America.
Calls out the "good people on both sides" line from Trump. For the first time, Biden has some effective momentum and calls out Trump's dog whistling.
Trump brings up the 1994 crime bill -- and, fair play. The Democrats should be made to pay for that racist mess for a long time.
Biden asked if there is a separate and unequal system of justice in America...and says yes, citing structural racism (GOOD)...then pivots to the "a few bad apples" trope re: police.
Trump asked if he believes there's systemic racism in America: something something radical something something.
Trump calls anti-racism training....racist?
Biden calls Trump racist. I wonder if that's even been said in a presidential debate?
Trump calls anti-racism training....racist?
Biden calls Trump racist. I wonder if that's even been said in a presidential debate?
Honestly, if I'm Biden, I sit out the next debates. What is the point of this?
Biden coming out strong for...the suburbs, saying Trump "Wouldn't know a suburb unless he took a wrong turn."
Biden: "I'm totally opposed to defunding police officers."
Goes on to say police need more assistance. Seems to want...psychiatrists to go out with cops? This section is about police reform but...nothing is about anything anymore, really.
Goes on to say police need more assistance. Seems to want...psychiatrists to go out with cops? This section is about police reform but...nothing is about anything anymore, really.
Oh, and now we're on to protests, although I'm pretty sure no questions have been answered tonight so it's just one big grab bag.
Fun fact: climate change is not a topic for tonight's debate.
Thank god we've dealt with the climate crisis already.
Thank god we've dealt with the climate crisis already.
Trump asked if he'll condemn militias and white supremacists: says he's willing to but then doesn't and blames the left for...right-wing white supremacy.
"This is not a right-wing problem."
Narrator: It's a right-wing problem.
"This is not a right-wing problem."
Narrator: It's a right-wing problem.
The next debate moderator should be a cattle prod.
Twist: climate change comes up!
Wallace asks Trump what he believes about the science of climate change.
Trump says he wants...clean water and air.
Wallace asks Trump what he believes about the science of climate change.
Trump says he wants...clean water and air.
Trump asked again about climate science.
Again: says he wants clean air and water. And....better forest management.
Again: says he wants clean air and water. And....better forest management.
Biden takes his climate change answer time to talk about...making the army green.
Trump accuses Biden of talking about the Green New Deal.
Buddy, if only.
Buddy, if only.
I am 90 percent certain Trump thinks climate change and pollution are the same thing.
Biden: "No, I don't support the Green New Deal....I support the Biden plan."
Jesus. Holy. Christ.
Jesus. Holy. Christ.
Wallace: How confident should we be that the election will be fair.
This question has to be asked in 2020.
This question has to be asked in 2020.
Biden: We need to make sure that people can vote.
Keeps saying the word "vote."
He's right. Vote.
Keeps saying the word "vote."
He's right. Vote.
Trump says the ballots are "a disaster" and then rants about some bullshit and repeats lies about unsolicited ballots.
"This is going to be a fraud like you've never seen."
(That is incorrect.)
"This is going to be a fraud like you've never seen."
(That is incorrect.)
Trump says he's counting on the Supreme Court to look at the ballots.
I can't imagine this guy is leaving without a fight.
I can't imagine this guy is leaving without a fight.
Jesus Christ, Wallace is asking each candidate whether he'll urge his followers to remain calm if the election result is unclear.
Biden says yes.
Trump....basically says no.
Biden says yes.
Trump....basically says no.
The debate ends.
I have no idea what the fuck that was.
Goodnight.
I have no idea what the fuck that was.
Goodnight.
