Mmelala? Kuna time nilikuwa na dame flani beshte yangu wa USIU,back then like 2 yrs ago. Msichana ni mrembo lakini alikuwa anapenda pombe kama vile wafuasi wa Prophet awuor vile wanampenda. They lived karibu na the junction mall,kama mnajua huko.sijui kaa bado wanakaa huko

She used to live with her mom alone in their 4 bedroom. Which had an upper floor and a http://basement.One  day alinisho her mom had gone for a seminar at Naks ati niende nichape drinks na yeye and whatever we'd want to do tukiwa drunk,you know!

She was good btw. We went half half i think. She paid for my uber from juja,then i took mzinga ya black and white which this was on me(later we bought mzinga ya crazy cock and Konyagi). Vile nilifika huko kwao. Watu wawili tulikuwa tumeamua kukata mizinga aluta

Kufika huko alinisho tuende backyard(nyuma ya nyumba yao) we pregame tukingoja mboch wao aende,she used to commute.That was done in a bid to hide from the mboch what we were doing ndio asije kuambia mama yake baadaye. Snitches suck imagine!

kwa backyard her friend mwenye wanaishi wote hiyo hood akakuja na her brother (who i later learnt walikuwa CUEA). Cuea and bogani translates to watu wanapenda pombe na sherehe,watu wakajuana 1 2 3.

watu walikuwa na shots glasses,so dry cognacs went down our throats(ni kama hata hatukuwa na chaser)vile madame wa KU humeza njoti za machali wa wenyewe!

That Friday nilitoka class ya probability and stats 2 saa kumi kaa nimepanda uber like the gangster I was (me ni gangster bado btw).

Pombe zilianza ku register vile most college kids hufanya wakiskia kutakuwa na pesa ya bwerere wakipeana details zao,i last did kiswahili in primary like 10 years ago but najua bwerere will mean null/nada/nothing.

Msiniambie mimi.I started getting helpless that situation ingeeza get sticky ningeshikwa tu. My friend(the girl) alikuwa done na shots za konyags na ameanza kufungua the other alcohol (this time sasa hatumii shot glasses anazichapa dry ivo tu)hadi ikafika half way.

Sisi wengine at the time tulikuwa maji kaa samaki

Nlianza kuona mbili mbili. But this girl told me tuende achukue fegi(ama sikara like a luyha Soja would say). Sincerely sikuwa nataka kuenda juu sikuwa na uwezo but juu nilikuwa kwao i just had to oblige.Let me tell you maina,pombe sio mama yako.

. Mtu akiwa maji hata kutembea 10 metres hukuwa an extreme sport,kuinua mguu ni kama kuinua weights ya 100kg each kwa gym.Kwao iko in some sloppy place and the road is narrow(tarmac definitely)but ni hood ya masonko,sleek cars hupita na speed.

Thanks hatukugongwa btw juu sijui vile tulienda hadi tukarudi. What I remember is the girl alichukua packets mbili za Dunhill.

http://Iza.si  tukarudi backyard juu hata wewe huezi smoke sigara kwa nyumba ya mzazi(with or without them being around).saa hizo pombe zangu bado zimerunda. I was still reading the room juu ilikuwa mara ya kwanza me kuenda kwao. So sikutaka ku abuse too much alcohols.

Saa hizo alcohols zangu zimeanza kuenda kwa mjoules,this time nilikuwa naona tu mbili mbili and most importantly her thighs(btw thick thighs are life,I know they can even cure bubonic plague)

It's around 8 or 9 hapo and her friends leave. Sijui kaa nimesema part tumerudi and this girl this time hakunywi shots tena. She was like `Kip si open another botty' Eish me kuna limits nafikanga tu I surrender roho safi. Nikamsho zii zikishuka I will pandisha.

Akaikunywa directly from the bottle nonstop hadi ikafika half way. That bitch went crazy on that crazy cock man,at this time my cock is wilding,rising to the occasion unprovoked.

Kiasi kiasi naona beams of lights kwa gate yao and I'm like ama tumeitiwa cops. I really overthink a lot.I think it was a honda that got in na ikaenda parking
`Ghai kwani my mum didn't go to Naks and she was saying she'll leave after jobo fuck' ni sauti ya Daniella.

This is her mom who has arrived and I'm drunk,i am supposed to sleep at their place and most importantly i am supposed to get laid man!It was at this moment that i knew i had fucked up.

Sasa huyu dame was like 'don't worry my mum usually sleeps early and once she sleeps ni ivo hadi aamke aende job and she is used to me sleeping in the sitting room after watching Tv '

Drunk people usually make the dumbest of the decisions. Ati nilikubali kugo with her plan,we took two three shots for that disappointment that was presenting itself.

Ujue walikuwa na very fierce dogs wenye hufunguliwa 10 pm by their soja(aliniambia hii sijui hata what brought it up)Then she's like wacha aende kwa nyumba aconfuse mama yake before she goes to bed.

Supper is cooked by their mboch who commutes from Langata so when the mom arrives she eats then goes showers kwa room yake kama amelala. Si she goes. Bruh ni 9.55 na dogs hufunguliwa 10 na niko backyard pekee(the backyard iko hidden somehow).

And all over the fence ni perimeter wall. Anxiety. Nimewachwa na pombe sorry botty

I just walked to the soja kwa gate juu yeye hufungua these big cats. Ukitaka msaada ya watchman btw learn kuwaita:mkubwa,officer,askari,or bwana CEO whatever you'll choose

Good thing it worked halafu i chopped the alcohol from my denim jacket like `mkubwa niko na kakitu hapa si ulete kaglass tukunywe pamoja' sijawahi ona watchy amefurahi ivo btw. He heeded that and I started telling him nilikuwa `mtu wa Daniella' and she had sneaked me kwao.

Hakuwa na shida yeye. Alisema he understands. We talked and kiasi kias he tells me he was from Busia and was 53 and had 21 children. Walunje mliamua tu ni mimba mtapeana?The girl's mom alikuwa ashaenda kulala. Good riddance!

The babe akatoka kwa house nikaona akielekea backyard i called her akakuja gate. Soja aliona kinywaji hata akasahau kufungulia dogs haha. Akakuja wakasalimiane sisi tukaenda kwa nyumba. Mom alikuwa analala floor ya juu so alikuwa ashaenda kulala.

Tukabali sitting room na the botty I think zingine zilikuwa zishaisha. Whatever happened. Tukaenda kulala kwa room yake akisema ati mama yake likely ataamka na aende job bila hata kumwamsha. Life happens,we had fun and all
Na tukazima

Kumbe the mum that sato ndio alikuwa anaenda Nakuru.She came kwa room yake kupea mtoto wake doh before atoke.Kufunu duvets akapata ni watu wawili wamelala.Niliskia tu `wah' kama ameteremka downstairs. Nikaamsha the babe. Hata hakushtuka btw like i was

Akateremka kuongea na mama yake
Kiasi kiasi ananikujia ati her mum ameniita. Tukakuwa questioned pamoja kiasi. But the mom hata hakuwa na issue she asked where i stayed nikamsho juja akasema she works in Delarue hapo thika road and she can drop me there

After breakfast tukatoka na yeye kwa honda yake. Before nishuke niliomba msamaha for sleeping in her place bila yeye kujua.

Sijui what she was going to pick from job before aende Naks or maybe she just wanted to drop meBut the silence from their place before tufike KCA is the most awkward silence nimewahi onauzuri i was forgiven otherwise that shit ingeni haunt to death

It's only that her mom alikuwa mtu ametulia otherwise kama ingekuwa mtu mwingine kungekuwa na very many possible things that could have happened to me

Machampe here are lessons for you:
1. Usiwahi enda away match kwa kina dame
2. Jua kuongea na watu vizuri(the soja in this case)
3. Usiende away match kwa dame hulipi rent yake/usiende away match na utalala place huyuko sure nayo. Make your own arrangements man

4.If worse gets worst, omba msamaha,be the smaller person in this case
5. Tread carefully,kama ingekuwa different parents maybe ningekuwa arrested,maybe ningekuwa shot because of trespass

There were just many possibilities there
6. Do not do too much for a nut
7. Read the room
8. Keep your eyes open
9. Do not overdrink if you are in a vulnerable situation
10. Nairobi is a dot. Ukitaka kukuta vitu piga protection kama hujajua mtu vizuri
Adios