All right, y'all. This is the #debate thread. Mute it if you need timeline peace. Ten minutes until launch.
Note: I'm not a pundit. I'm almost a historian. I'm definitely an asshole. Nothing I say should be taken as a direct quote spoken by either Trump or Biden unless you see me tag a statement with [QUOTE].
Jesus, never mind. This bullshit starts in an hour at 9 EST instead of 8.

Gonna go eat ice cream.
DEBATE TIME IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE...

BRING IT MOTHERFUCKERS
Chris Wallace is moderating. Topics selected are focused on domestic issues and are:

-Trump and Biden Records
-The Supreme Court
-Covid-19
-The Economy
-The Integrity of the Election

and....

"Race and Violence in Our Cities," and what the actual fuck on this one, good grief.
Wallace will not be responsible for fact-checking during the debate.

AKA: he's not going to moderate so much as nod like a dippy bird and allow Trump to say whatever he wants with no restraint.

Here we go.
Wallace: We're taking all possible steps to ensure that the candidates don't actually need to interact directly with each other. Nobody move quickly, and never make eye contact.
Topic #1: Supreme Court

Wallace: Why are you right and your opponent wrong? [DIRECT QUOTE]

Trump: We won. Fuck off.
...I think Trump just suggested that Antonin Scalia is still alive and well and speaks kindly of the new Supreme Court nom.
Wallace: Biden, same question.

Biden: HERE ARE FACTS AND STATISTICS ON HEALTH CARE AND WOMEN'S RIGHTS, YO.
oooooh Trump is already pissed off and is slashing away at health care stats.

BUT! He's hauling himself in check. Sort of. He's trying to talk over Biden but is limiting himself.

Fifteen minutes in, folks. This is going to go straight over a cliff.
Biden is circling around health care and women's rights.

Trump: Women's rights "is not on the ballot" [QUOTE]

Biden: *huge glary eyeballs*
Oh dear this is hard to narrate.

Trump just charged over Wallace's question. Wallace keeps trying to ask why Trump keeps promising comprehensive health care but keeps failing.

Biden is just LAUGHING.
Trump: Insulin will be like water [under my health care plan], it'll be so cheap! (QUOTE)
Oh Joe, hush. Don't let this asshole bait you.

Joe: "I'm not here to fact-check him tonight. Everybody knows he's a liar." [QUOTE]
Folks this is impossible to cover. Trump is shouting over Biden. It's not a debate. It's a fucking rodeo where the bull is on a rampage and there's no clowns --LOOKING AT YOU, WALLACE-- to be seen.
JOE JUST TOLD TRUMP TO SHUT UP, MAN

LITERALLY TOLD POTUS TO SHUT UP
Biden: Here are some stats about COVID deaths and how Trump failed on the job.

Trump: *tilts head from side to side in Adderall-fueled rage*
Biden just told Trump to get out of his bunker and get to work and start saving lives.

Trump did not like that. Not one bit.
Let me sum up the entire debate thus far in a screenshot.
Wallace: Is the vaccine safe? Your experts say they need more time to develop a safe--

Trump: IT'S POLITICIZED. FUCK OFF.
Wallace is trying to haul the crashed train back over the cliff. Biden is speaking in slow, clear terms and reminding the audience of COVID deaths under Trump.

Trump's response is personally attacking Biden's education, with a dig at his memory.
Biden: Can he just shush for a minute? [QUOTE]

And now they're fighting over golf?
How are we only 37 minutes into the debate?

Lord.
I just shouted at Trump so loud that I scared the dogs.

He said nothing of consequence. He's just being a dick.
Now they're on the topic of the economy.

In a normal debate, participants scribble down notes during the other person's time. In this debate, Trump SHOUTS and SHOUTS and Biden scribbles something but he can't rebut as there's no consistent narrative.

This is a Trump rally.
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