TW// suicide & depression

Since national suicide awareness month is coming to an end, I decided that would share some personal insight. Please don't send death threats to people or say you wish they would kill themselves, or hell don't leak their personal information ++

whether it be their address, phone number, etc etc. They trusted you with that information and you are betraying their trust by leaking it. Also, just because someone did something bad, doesn't mean they should kill themselves. Those words "kill yourself" are a lot more ++

dangerous than people think. And I promise you, it doesn't matter how much you hate someone. If they commit suicide and you even think you are part of the reason, that guilt will destroy you. It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do. And I speak from personal ++

experience. My closest friend killed their self back in 2018 and to this day I blame myself when all I did was ignore their call. I tell myself that maybe if I would have answered they would still be here. And his parents blame themselves as well. ++

His whole entire family was religious; his name was Ryan. His dad was a preacher. He showed up to church drunk and got kicked out. He stays drunk now. His mother got hospitalized. When she got out she got addicted to the depression medicine they gave her and she's a ++

addict. His little sister has a big ass scar on her arm where she tried to kill herself, but failed. Once she got out of the hospital, she started sleeping with anybody and everybody. She uses sex as a way to forget her brother. And the reason they all blame themselves ++

is because of what the last words they said to him. His sister's last words were "I hate you". His moms were "bye". And his dads were "It will be okay". Him and his sister had been arguing, his mom was telling him bye because she was leaving for work and his dad was telling ++

him it would be okay that is grade dropped. I regret my last words to him even though they were "I love you". If I had known that would be the last time I ever told him that, I would have said it a thousand times.
Ryan was being bullied, and receiving death threats ++

because a girl spread a bad rumor about him. Even after the rumor was proved false, he still received the threats and bullying. The guys who bullied him and sent him the threats, they are all but one in a mental hospital. You see even they hated them, they couldn't ++

live with the guilt knowing that it was their fault. The guilt tore them apartment and consumed them, driving them mad. They got admitted to psyche wards and are now permanent residences. The one guy who didn't, he went to jail. While in jail, he talked all this shit about ++

how he was the reason a boy killed their self and that the guilt made him commit the crime he was in jail for, he was murdered by a prisoner.
So you see, their guilt basically drove them insane. If you don't care about the guilt or say ++

"oh I won't feel guilty" then consider how the family/parents or friends will feel. Their parents will blame themselves when truth be told it probably wasn't their fault at all. Their friends will hate themselves because they didn't notice sooner. And the rest of their family ++

will feel the same. If they have siblings, then they might grow up and do the same thing. Their family will suffer. Their dad could get abusive or their mom could become depressed. Their family will fall apart because everything has consequences. And it's honestly the worst ++

thing to ever hear in your life. Trust me, I've been told to kill myself and I almost did. I tried so hard, anyone who personally knows me can tell you that. And still to this day those words haunt me. I don't understand how anyone could ever say those words, let alone think ++

them. I'm not going to lie, there are some people that I wouldn't care if they died. But I am not going to tell them too end their life. Again, that is something no one should ever be told. And seriously, if you think it's okay to tell someone that because ++

"oh they deserve it", please unfollow me right now. I don't care what they did (or what you think they did), no one should ever hear those words. Because I promise you, whether that person shows it or not, their guilt is already destroying them. Some people can hide that. ++

Another thing, don't give people hate for having scars, self inflicted or not. Most people are already insecure about them. I know I was, but I chose to look at it from a different angle. All my scars represent battles with myself that I won. And I wish everyone else ++

would think the same. We shouldn't be self conscious about our scars. We should embrace them and see them as battles won.
Anyways, this thread was just about some personal experiences. Also, please don't forget that my dms are always open if anyone needs to talk.