I want to be excited for the future. I really do. And I have several reasons to be. I have an okay income again, working on several projects, I want to pick up learning how to make music again.

But all of that gets sullied whenever I start getting too excited about it.

It gets sullied when I think of how we all have to work extra hard, way too hard, to prop up not only ourselves, but especially each other.

It gets sullied when I think about how poverty, hunger and homelessness are fabricated problems that can be realistically solved.

It gets sullied when I think about how black people get murdered by police, and when anyone dares question their authority there's a real chance their life gets ruined or taken as well.

It gets sullied when I think about when we plead with our so-called representatives to do something, literally the people whose salaries we're forced to pay every year, they tweet uselessly about it, and when confronted in person, give a shallow smile and walk away.

It gets sullied when we're told to accept 200,000 deaths and counting from this pandemic and pretend it doesn't exist because American exceptionalism has poisioned so many people's minds.

And when right wing militias are taking on the role of 1930s brownshirts in our cities.

And when the people that have the power and resources to take steps towards fixing issues and working towards equality are able to hoard that power and resources in the first place, and take measures to keep hold of it for classist and racist reasons.

I dunno what I'm expecting to get out of musing with this thread, except that hopefully it resonates with others that are feeling this way but don't want to say it.

Trust me, I absolutely want to look forward to the future. But I refuse to leave others behind while doing it.

To end on a useful note, check out the #TransCrowdFund hashtag for people to help monetarily support, if you're able to. Also check out @GetMePPEchi, who I've done weekly deliveries for but my availability is limited now because of my job. They can use drivers.

Love you all.