Ugh ok #warriornun fandom, I apologize in advance that I am going to be *that* old lady, but I am going to be *that* old lady for a minute and talk about this top/bottom designation you guys love. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be indelicate but I dislike it a lot.

Firstly it seems like a lot of y’all are using it interchangeably with sub/dom but it’s not the same thing. So there’s that.

Secondly not everyone is only one thing all the time, that’s not being a “switch” it’s just being a person. You interact differently with different people.

Thirdly the top/bottom thing comes from mlm sex and indicates the penetrating vs the receiving partner. wlw sex is rarely codified in that way. Everyone might do some penetrating. Or nobody might. It’s flexible and that’s nice.

An addendum to that thought is that it’s use among mlm also comes with the baggage of conferring status/power: tops are considered higher status and more manly and bottoms, not so much. So I’m not fond of it for that reason either.

None of this is to say that there aren’t situations where the designations actually apply? And if that is the case, that’s great. But in many cases, it’s applying status and power dynamics in situations where there isn’t one.

I know language evolves and I’m sure not a prescriptivist, but it’s good to know where the words you use come from. OK. That’s all.