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FPL STATS OF SHITHOUSERY ππππ πππ‘π
ππππ ππ πππ ππππ
GW III
What. An. Absolute. Shower.
More a question of who to leave out this week rather than put in - here are the XI guilty suspects for you displeasure.
Dear Christ lads...
ππππ ππ πππ ππππ
GW III
What. An. Absolute. Shower.
More a question of who to leave out this week rather than put in - here are the XI guilty suspects for you displeasure.
Dear Christ lads...
LLORIS β 5.5 β TOT
Lloris did nowt wrong this weekend, but then few keeper did. In the 4 games on Sunday there were an astonishing 34 saves made despite 14 goals.
No, all Hugo did was stand there like a mannequin for 97 minutes and then let Wilsonβs pen go through his hands
Lloris did nowt wrong this weekend, but then few keeper did. In the 4 games on Sunday there were an astonishing 34 saves made despite 14 goals.
No, all Hugo did was stand there like a mannequin for 97 minutes and then let Wilsonβs pen go through his hands
AWB β 5.5 β MUN
It is slipped slightly under the radar that AWB has been in wretched form for months now. Ole has dropped him twice and whilst once he was the picture of calmness, he now resembles a bread stuffed Duck skidding helplessly across an icy pond.
It is slipped slightly under the radar that AWB has been in wretched form for months now. Ole has dropped him twice and whilst once he was the picture of calmness, he now resembles a bread stuffed Duck skidding helplessly across an icy pond.
The Utd right hand side were torn apart by Trossard and Solly March and whilst Greenwood hardly helped the cause, Wank-Biscuit made just a single tackle and didnβt deserve to finish anywhere near the winning side, let alone on it
Work to do lad. You can't rely on new signings...
Work to do lad. You can't rely on new signings...
SILVA β 5.5 β CHE
8 Titles, 13 Cups, 89 caps for Brazil, Olympic and Champions League Runner Up, a Copa Americaβ¦ welcome to Frank Lampardβs Chelsea Thiago Silva.
Iβm sure youβll fit in just fiβ¦ and youβve made a howler already. See? YOUβVE GOT THIS BUDDY. Never doubted you
8 Titles, 13 Cups, 89 caps for Brazil, Olympic and Champions League Runner Up, a Copa Americaβ¦ welcome to Frank Lampardβs Chelsea Thiago Silva.
Iβm sure youβll fit in just fiβ¦ and youβve made a howler already. See? YOUβVE GOT THIS BUDDY. Never doubted you
AKE & GARCIA β 5.5 & 4.9 β MCI
There are few things more astonishing that I can show you than the heat maps of Ake & Garcia in a game that they conceded 5 goals. Ake only once set foot in his own box in open play. He recorded zero tackles to Garciaβs zero headers.
Hail Pep!
There are few things more astonishing that I can show you than the heat maps of Ake & Garcia in a game that they conceded 5 goals. Ake only once set foot in his own box in open play. He recorded zero tackles to Garciaβs zero headers.
Hail Pep!
WESTWOOD β 5.5 β BUR
Burnleyβs worst start to a season is not being helped by a chronic injury list and threadbare squad, but they need leaders and Westwood is the heartbeat of the side when they are on song. Right now heβs playing like the first round of X-Factor auditions.
Burnleyβs worst start to a season is not being helped by a chronic injury list and threadbare squad, but they need leaders and Westwood is the heartbeat of the side when they are on song. Right now heβs playing like the first round of X-Factor auditions.
ANGUISSA - Honestly who cares what his price is - FUL
Owning Fulham players other than Mitro...
Owning Fulham players other than Mitro...
TRAORE β 6.5 β WOL
A gun with bullets made of poo, this was a scattered spray of shite from Adama. He only completed 18 passes, did not take one shot, create one chance, or find a single teammate with a single cross. Dribbles donβt mean shit lad when you pass like fucking rice.
A gun with bullets made of poo, this was a scattered spray of shite from Adama. He only completed 18 passes, did not take one shot, create one chance, or find a single teammate with a single cross. Dribbles donβt mean shit lad when you pass like fucking rice.
SON β 9.6 β TOT
Fresh from scoring 4 goals last week, Son stepped up against a hapless Newcastle team and battered them for 45 minutes. He hit the woodwork, shot on sight, tore them apart down the left and created 3 clear chances.
Fresh from scoring 4 goals last week, Son stepped up against a hapless Newcastle team and battered them for 45 minutes. He hit the woodwork, shot on sight, tore them apart down the left and created 3 clear chances.
Owners could be considered unlucky but must have thought there is no way heβs not getting any points second half in this form.
Only to see him taken off βinjuredβ. In what must be the most FPL moment of 2020. For about 2 hours at least.
Only to see him taken off βinjuredβ. In what must be the most FPL moment of 2020. For about 2 hours at least.
JIMENEZ β 8.6 - WOL
The Mexican Metronome scored again this weekend, but sadly given the FPL dark timeline weβre now all living in, it was in his own fucking net. 0 points, for both his team or himself, fans and owners will hope this was a blip, and not a sign of things to come
The Mexican Metronome scored again this weekend, but sadly given the FPL dark timeline weβre now all living in, it was in his own fucking net. 0 points, for both his team or himself, fans and owners will hope this was a blip, and not a sign of things to come
WERNER β 9.4 β CHE
Wernerβs heat map pretty much says it all for me. Where the fuck was he even playing? What is his role in a Chelsea attack that is certainly functioning better than their defence, yet seems to bypass him again and again when it comes to the final pass?
Wernerβs heat map pretty much says it all for me. Where the fuck was he even playing? What is his role in a Chelsea attack that is certainly functioning better than their defence, yet seems to bypass him again and again when it comes to the final pass?
Time will surely heal this one. Werner is too good a player to simply wander the pitch like a nomad on cocaine. Lampard, thus far showing the tactical nous of a Panda when faced with a mate, needs to learn how to fuck, sorry manage⦠and fast.
Happy Hunting
HM
Happy Hunting
HM
