"His tongue, so soft and hot, like a chunk of microwaved fish, sloshing around inside her mouth."
I& #39;ll take & #39;I& #39;m too asexual for this& #39; for 100, Alex(a).
I& #39;ll take & #39;I& #39;m too asexual for this& #39; for 100, Alex(a).
"cock. It swelled like a balloon being filled with helium, rising up, standing to command, begging for her to take it in her hands."
I am now annoyed by the scientific inaccuracy of this nonsense. A balloon filled with helium will burst if you squeeze it like a cock Alexa.
I am now annoyed by the scientific inaccuracy of this nonsense. A balloon filled with helium will burst if you squeeze it like a cock Alexa.
"Then he pulled it out and it made a popping sound."
....is this still a penis or is it actually a balloon?
....is this still a penis or is it actually a balloon?
"...he could thrust his warbling member deep into her pocket of ecstasy."
Warbling member. We can add "warbling" to the list of "adjectives one DOESN& #39;T use to describe a dick."
Warbling member. We can add "warbling" to the list of "adjectives one DOESN& #39;T use to describe a dick."
"He filled her with love lotion, which oozed out instantly and spread right across the floor."
Hey @Lit_Review I submit this for consideration for the Bad Sex Awards: COVID edition.
Hey @Lit_Review I submit this for consideration for the Bad Sex Awards: COVID edition.
"He had, undoubtedly, taken her breath away."
Yes, typically how Covid kills you.
Yes, typically how Covid kills you.
"Missing was her aching to be savaged vaginally."
I am now concerned for this woman& #39;s vulva, though it deserves no consideration.
I am now concerned for this woman& #39;s vulva, though it deserves no consideration.
And it& #39;s done. I hope y& #39;all enjoyed, because this was the hardest thing I& #39;ve had to read all year, and I work in media. I leave you with the author profile. Fin.
Frens, @litfever& #39;s livetweet is infinitely funnier, pls enjoy: https://twitter.com/litfever/status/1310855386522628097?s=20">https://twitter.com/litfever/...