My dad sent me an interesting message about changing power dynamics in a family and how fathers are often neglected at old age. Its an interesting and illuminating read.
A THREAD

1. In the lifetime of most African families, there are 3 dispensations of power:
In the 1st 25 years, the power indisputably rests with the father. When the children are grown & working, power shifts to the mother. Once the children are grown & move out, the power shifts to them.

2. The 1st dispensation. Father rules with an iron fist. He is the lion of the tribe. The boss of the house. The father often the disciplinarian in the home. He is feared more than he is loved. He is the provider & everyone is aware of this with all attendant consequences.

3. The 2nd dispensation. The power shifts to the mother. When the children start earning money they will prioritize her. They are closer to her because they spent more time with her. While father was in charge and trying to provide he didn't form a relationship with them.

4. The mother takes centre stage. She is the first to know what is happening with the children & she has advantage. Should any of the daughters give birth, she is the one who babysits and is spoiled with gifts. Her sons will spoil her too, because of their relationship with her.