Read on Twitter
I haven’t been on Twitter in a long long time so I thought I would update my internet family on what I’ve been up to, if this is our only shared social media platform. It’s a wild ride but I’m blessed and alive so HERE WE GO 
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In March, Colin graduated from tech school and became a Security Forces member for the Air Force. We moved to Columbus, MS in July and it was our first time back together since last October! CV19 hit and separated us for 8.5 months.
I swore into the Air Force in late July myself and was preparing to ship out for BMT, awaiting to find out my AFSC. I was a candidate for intelligence, aerospace physiology, and command and control! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✈️" title="Flugzeug" aria-label="Emoji: Flugzeug"> https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🇺🇸" title="Flagge der Vereinigten Staaten" aria-label="Emoji: Flagge der Vereinigten Staaten">
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🇺🇸" title="Flagge der Vereinigten Staaten" aria-label="Emoji: Flagge der Vereinigten Staaten">" title="I swore into the Air Force in late July myself and was preparing to ship out for BMT, awaiting to find out my AFSC. I was a candidate for intelligence, aerospace physiology, and command and control! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✈️" title="Flugzeug" aria-label="Emoji: Flugzeug"> https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🇺🇸" title="Flagge der Vereinigten Staaten" aria-label="Emoji: Flagge der Vereinigten Staaten">">
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🇺🇸" title="Flagge der Vereinigten Staaten" aria-label="Emoji: Flagge der Vereinigten Staaten">" title="I swore into the Air Force in late July myself and was preparing to ship out for BMT, awaiting to find out my AFSC. I was a candidate for intelligence, aerospace physiology, and command and control! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✈️" title="Flugzeug" aria-label="Emoji: Flugzeug"> https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🇺🇸" title="Flagge der Vereinigten Staaten" aria-label="Emoji: Flagge der Vereinigten Staaten">">
Days after swearing in, Colin and I found out we were expecting! This was insane for me because as some of you may know, females take a pregnancy test at MEPS before they can say the Oath of Enlistment. I was so pumped, I told Colin over text https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen">
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen">" title="Days after swearing in, Colin and I found out we were expecting! This was insane for me because as some of you may know, females take a pregnancy test at MEPS before they can say the Oath of Enlistment. I was so pumped, I told Colin over text https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen">">
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen">" title="Days after swearing in, Colin and I found out we were expecting! This was insane for me because as some of you may know, females take a pregnancy test at MEPS before they can say the Oath of Enlistment. I was so pumped, I told Colin over text https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen">">
Quickly after becoming pregnant, I fell really ill. I was in the emergency room several times before my 8 week appointment, and I was put on complete bed rest. I was warned that I have at least a 30% chance of miscarrying, but we held onto faith and tried to keep the joy alive!
My fav foods were Thai, ice cream, donuts, and Panda Express. I never had morning sickness, I actually had completely the opposite. I had EXTREME hunger. I needed to eat almost constantly, this caused me to gain 10 pounds, but I was so happy & getting better so who cared?
Foxes are my fav animal, so I planned fox everything for my little baby https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🦊" title="Fuchsgesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Fuchsgesicht"> truly I was, and still am obsessed. Juniper Fox on Tik Tok is my JAMMMM!!!
truly I was, and still am obsessed. Juniper Fox on Tik Tok is my JAMMMM!!!" title="Foxes are my fav animal, so I planned fox everything for my little baby https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🦊" title="Fuchsgesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Fuchsgesicht"> truly I was, and still am obsessed. Juniper Fox on Tik Tok is my JAMMMM!!!">
truly I was, and still am obsessed. Juniper Fox on Tik Tok is my JAMMMM!!!" title="Foxes are my fav animal, so I planned fox everything for my little baby https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🦊" title="Fuchsgesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Fuchsgesicht"> truly I was, and still am obsessed. Juniper Fox on Tik Tok is my JAMMMM!!!">
On 04 September, I started feeling really sick again. I had cramps and a sinking feeling in my stomach. I rushed myself to the ER (Colin was at work) and they had to call in a sonogram tech to come checkout the baby. My BP was extremely low and I felt dizzy and euphoric.
At just over 8.5 weeks, our baby went home to be with the Lord. We decided to name them Kai, a beautiful & neutral name. We were just two short weeks from having the first big tests done & would be finding out the gender this week.
We took a road trip to Tuscaloosa and buried our sweet Kai deep in the trails of Lake Travis. We had to hike on the side of cliffs and past a riverbed to find the perfect spot. We stopped to rest after as I was still physically recovering on a large rock that overlooked the lake.
Kai taught me so many things, that are really hard to explain. But some of the many gifts they gave me was the ability to advocate for myself and the reminder that life is precious and we never know when it’ll be our turn to go Home.
It has always been my dream to be a pilot. Being a flight attendant was one of the happiest times of my life, I have spent the majority of my twenties trying to find a way to pay for my degree & flight school with no success. Kai showed me I can’t keep wasting time.
So here we are, almost October 2020. One year after Colin and I started on this new adventure together. And I am pleased to announce that I am currently working 24:7, all day every day, pretty much even in my sleep, on my application to be a helicopter pilot for the US Army.
Being so ill and losing my child destroyed me. But I refuse to let this experience happen in vain. Kai will always be honored and I will spend the rest of my life waiting to meet them on the other side. Both Colin and I carry them with us everywhere. We have never loved so big.
That brings us to the conclusion of this thread: remember that you are loved and that with gratitude and mindfulness and a whole lot of Jesus, we can all overcome the hardest days of our lives and find peace.
