having just spend 6 months (!!!!) living with my parents I have the following advice: if someone asks you to do something for them and you don't understand why, maybe you don't need to understand. Maybe you just need to show them you accept and care about their feelings.

99% of the arguments/fights/lasting sites of harm I've shared with my mom in my life have come back to me TELLING HER I don't like doing the thing she feels I have to do, or that what she's doing feels bad, and her plowing ahead if she can't personally empathize with that

Empathy is amazing thing but often you will not be able to meaningfully figure out where someone is coming from, and that's okay too. When someone tells you something is important to them, what matter is not the thing itself but that it is important to the person you care about