Great British Bake Off Contestant Evaluations, a thread:

DAVE: He's hot but unfortunately I think he's a cop? Adequate technical skills, but questionable aesthetics and flavor profiles (mint strawberry chocolate cake??).

PREDICTION: Middle of the pack with potential for upset in either direction.

HERMINE: Watch this one. Strong flavor and aesthetic sensibilities. Seems generally competent. When Paul asked what she was good at, she fired right back with "French Patisserie." A weaker baker would have crumbled. Pun intended.

PREDICTION: Top third at least. Potential final 3

LAURA: Vibes of ur gal pal who used to get proper pisht at the pub but settled down w/ a husband now. Some technical missteps, but a good understanding of flavor. I see potential here.

PREDICTION: Upper half, could go much further

LINDA: What would GBBO be with a messy sweetheart? The aunt that lets u have wine @ dinner. She made a Bob Marley that looked like a melted crayon, so of course we love her. Major technical shortcomings.

PREDICTION: Bottom third, or even next 2 go

LORIEA: RIP baby girl :\\ tbh I would've preferred Linda to go instead. Clearly adventurous and creative, gone b4 her time. I think if she had stayed she could've learned some more restraint and flourished.

LOTTIE: For sure has at least 1 Scorpio placement. Feel like we'd form a co-dependent friendship, fight, then never speak to each other again. Seems well-rounded as a baker, but does she have the "oomph" to go all the way?

PREDICTION: Upper half, but needs to push herself

MAKBUL: I want to have dinner at his house. I bet his family loves him. Not afraid to think outside the box (pistachio marzipan, anyone?) but does he have the skillz to back it up? Also some questionable aesthetics.

PREDICTION: Middle of the pack. Would not bet on top 3

MARC: Oh, sweet Marc. He's got heart in spades, but I just don't think he has the sophistication that Paul and Prue are looking for. I want him to prove me wrong.

PREDICTION: Bottom third.

MARK: The other Mark! This man could recite the 5 basic recipes in Settlers of Catan, guaranteed. Decent flavor profiles, no major fuckups, but time will tell.

PREDICTION: middle third/upper half cusp. Possibly further if he believes in himself.

PETER: He's cute, but he's still in college so I feel gross for saying he's cute. Clearly a great baker, and not just technically. His Battenberg was BEAUTIFUL! This kid's going places, but can he handle the pressure?

PREDICTION: Top third, but might pull a Steph at the end.

ROWAN: Everyone's gay dad/grandpa. I bet he played Mercutio in his youth and fucking killed it. Rowan has big dreams and poor time management skills. If the last 7 seasons of GBBO are any indicator, the "bad time skills" label is hard to shake off.

PREDICTION: Bottom third

SURA: 1 episode and I'm obsessed. I'm getting main character vibes. She will triumph, she will fail, and in the end, we'll learn something about ourselves. There's a raging fire inside her; can she control it?

PREDICTION: Middle third, but something tells me longer.