Why Courtney Milan's A Kiss for Midwinter is like one of my favourite scenes from Sex and the City.

A thread.

I finished A Kiss for Midwinter last night. (I know, I know. Why did you take so long to read it Kaetrin? Don't judge me.)

It's a gorgeous little novella which deals with some heavy topics, bittersweet in places but terribly romantic with a very satisfying HEA.

CW: pregnancy loss.

When Lydia Charingford was 15, she was seduced by a much older man and ended up pregnant and alone. Her family, thankfully, stood by her. Unfortunately she suffered what seems to be a mid-term miscarriage.
She bears the emotional scars of that trauma still.

Of course, she is not assisted by the Victorian-times morals. (What has really changed though? )

Jonas Grantham is a doctor and has been in love with Lydia for some time but Lydia thinks he's judging her because he is one of the few people in town outside of her family who KNOWS.

Over the course of the story, Lydia has to begin to deal with the trauma she has been denying and repressing for 6 years and learn to trust Jonas when he tells her how he feels and to trust her own judgement again.

After all, the last time she trusted a man, look what happened, right?

The story provides a rather beautiful way for Jonas to show Lydia how he values her and that he can be trusted and that he sees her as more than the product of one "mistake"

(In fact, he understands perfectly well who's responsible for what happened.)

It put me in mind of my favourite, most memorable and romantic scene in Sex and the City.

But first, there is another CW for A Kiss for Midwinter which is not relevant to this story but which readers might need to know so I'll mention it here. CW: depiction of hoarding.

On with the thread.

Sex and the City is definitely not without its problems and I'm not here to defend it. But there's this one scene which I thought was amazing when I saw it and it still speaks to me.

It's about Samantha and Smith.

Samantha is having second thoughts about being with a younger man. She pushes Smith away and goes with her old flame, Richard, to his hotel suite and has sex with him. She regrets it immediately. She hates it.

(The sex is consensual but it does show that Richard is not paying attention to Samantha's needs and desires in the moment and this is particularly important when contrasted with Smith's behaviours and insights.)

Samantha rides down in the elevator, alone and full of regret.

When she gets to the lobby, Smith is there, waiting.

He wanted to make sure she got home safely.

(Oh my heart!)

Smith had no expectations and he full well knows what Samantha was doing upstairs.

But more than that, he knows *her*.

He knows that her actions were not about intentionally hurting him, even though that was definitely a byproduct. This was about her & her vulnerabilities.

Samantha sees him and cries. Iron-hearted Samantha. Cries.

She doesn't even apologise because to her, her behaviour is unforgivable.

But Smith doesn't need an apology because he knows this wasn't really about him.

He just wraps her up in his arms and tells her it's okay.

He's not being weak. He's not a doormat. He's not inviting abuse. He is showing her the man he is. His strength and steadfastness. His trustworthiness. His love.

He sees her vulnerable heart. He can be trusted with it.

He shows her, in that moment, that even when she hurts his heart he will not strike back. He will not retaliate out of hurt. He will continue to love her and treat her with respect and care.

How romantic is that???

Here is the scene. It's the only version I could find on YouTube and I'm a bit dubious about the title of it but what's important here is the scene itself.
(You may need to be 18+ to watch it.)

In A Kiss for Midwinter, albeit in very different ways (for example there is no "Richard"), Jonas shows Lydia the same thing.

When she hurts him, he will not strike back. He will not act to harm her. He can be trusted with her very vulnerable heart.

He will be steadfast and patient, waiting for her to be ready. Waiting for *if* she's ready. He will see her safely home without further expectations. He will respect her decisions. He will show her he can be trusted and she can trust her judgement of him.

And because she is safe with him, she is free to be entirely herself. He will not reject her. He will not abandon her.

What could be more romantic? What could be more beautiful than to be accepted for all that you are, mistakes included and still be completely worthy? To know that your chosen partner will stand with you no matter what, even when it costs him, even when it hurts?

As it happens, I have my own Samantha/Smith story, also very different in the telling (there's no Richard in my story either) but the lesson I learned was the same. And, like Samantha and Lydia, I only needed to learn that lesson once.

Reader, I married him.

/fin.