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A painful thread.
I am a DV survivor. I also, like a lot of folks, have mental health issues. PTSD, depression, and internalize OCD.
The man who harmed me has mental health issues that are exacerbated by alcohol.
After a "bad night" that would be his excuse.
1/9
I am a DV survivor. I also, like a lot of folks, have mental health issues. PTSD, depression, and internalize OCD.
The man who harmed me has mental health issues that are exacerbated by alcohol.
After a "bad night" that would be his excuse.
1/9
I would try and convince him to get help. But once everything was calm again he didn't understand why I couldn't just "be happy."
The cycle would repeat.
Being a very strong woman I was embarrassed. Too embarrassed to tell people I felt like a prisoner because I loved...
2/9
The cycle would repeat.
Being a very strong woman I was embarrassed. Too embarrassed to tell people I felt like a prisoner because I loved...
2/9
...someone and they didn't love me enough to stop hurting me. To listen to me.
Folks make it sound so easy now. "Why didn't you just leave?"
Because it is a mental health issue I would tell myself that it would be abandoning a person who needs help.
How could I do that...
3/9
Folks make it sound so easy now. "Why didn't you just leave?"
Because it is a mental health issue I would tell myself that it would be abandoning a person who needs help.
How could I do that...
3/9
...when it was apparent he needed help.
After all, someone can't help mental issues, the effects of growing up in an abusive household.
And so I stayed there. Each time was the last.
And he stopped drinking.
So did the violence. But the emotional abuse...
4/9
After all, someone can't help mental issues, the effects of growing up in an abusive household.
And so I stayed there. Each time was the last.
And he stopped drinking.
So did the violence. But the emotional abuse...
4/9
...ramped up. It was constant. Nothing I said or did was right. He couldn't blame alcohol anymore so it was either accept this would be my life, or get away.
I have felt guilt because I abandoned someone who definitely needs help.
Today I watched as people ran to defend...
5/9
I have felt guilt because I abandoned someone who definitely needs help.
Today I watched as people ran to defend...
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...another man who abused a woman while drunk.
And the media has made a point of highlighting his mental health issues.
I feel sick. What about his wife, bruised, terrified, and still defending him? I know this woman, so to speak.
Mental health issues are important...
6/9
And the media has made a point of highlighting his mental health issues.
I feel sick. What about his wife, bruised, terrified, and still defending him? I know this woman, so to speak.
Mental health issues are important...
6/9
...and this man should receive treatment. And I am sure he will receive treatment. Because he will be given the benefits we give white men who abuse. Who shoot people. Who commit crimes.
While the victims, or those that don't fit the profile of white man are ignored...
7/9
While the victims, or those that don't fit the profile of white man are ignored...
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...not given the benefit of the doubt, or worst of all, blamed for their abusers behavior.
So when I say I am more concerned for the people he harmed, understand that is because that man doesn't need me to look out for him. He already has the media, his gender...
8/9
So when I say I am more concerned for the people he harmed, understand that is because that man doesn't need me to look out for him. He already has the media, his gender...
8/9
...his skin color, and our racist, sexist society to look out for him.
I spent a lot of time modulating myself when I was being victimized.
Never again. Because I am going to look out for myself, and the others like me.
End
9/9
I spent a lot of time modulating myself when I was being victimized.
Never again. Because I am going to look out for myself, and the others like me.
End
9/9
