get in kids we are gay live tweeting the best non-musical cinderella adaptation of all time, EVER AFTER

a few notes before we begin:

- I haven’t seen this movie in YEARS so it’s gonna be a surprise!

- this came out when I was 11 and it was FORMATIVE

- it’s streaming on Disney+ if you want to follow along

i have always loved that this begins as a heavy-handed frame story with the brothers grimm being called to visit the grand dame, who corrects the narrative — the idea of a woman being the keeper of the memory of the now fictional tale, correcting the men who have commodified it

ANJELICA HUSTON, the perfect wicked stepmother

some femmes grew up falling asleep by the fire reading their favorite book and knew it was okay because cinderella did, too

so, henry is a rich sheltered fuckboi who routinely runs away from the palace because he feels oppressed by privilege, sure sure sure

a real line spoken by cinderella in 1997, can you believe

as if we did not already know that gustave was Gay Best Friend

the chaotic butch energy in this scene

sidebar: love how leonardo da vinci functions as both queer elder & fairy godmother, just

*chefs kiss*

at the gay bar when you're like oh shit they're hot AND smart

at the gay bar after an hour of flirting when you're like oh shit

interrogating your friends about every flirt, DM, and text

one thing i appreciate about this movie is that they treat the stepmother's emotional abuse of jacqueline over her weight for the horrific abuse that it is

henry: a soft tender little romantic butch baby, probably a pisces

leonardo da vinci, resident queer elder & fairy godmother: a realist, actually legit an aries

LIBRARY DATE, clutch move

leaving the library date in tears: check

the fact that the stepmother is selling off items from the manor and taking the "missing" things out of the servants' pay is criminal and disgusting

ICONIC

one of the least successful breakup scenes

WHO'S READY FOR THE MASQUERADE REVIVAL OF 2021

LISTEN TO YOUR QUEER ELDERS & FAIRY GODMOTHERS

honestly i still cannot watch that reveal scene all the way through it's too hard, i just want to wrap danielle in a big hug and tell her it's going to be okay

THE PUBLIC REJECTION

THE STUBBORN REFUSAL

MY EMOTIONS

one of the most excruciating exchanges in any fairy tale adaptation

cut to henry's wedding, where the spanish princess he is betrothed to is having A TIME

honestly, could not have gone better

THIS is my cinderella

we love a heroine who's already rescued herself, but not mad about a cherry on top

the villains getting their just comeuppance is so delicious and i have always found it delicious that jacqueline gets a part in it

CHOSEN FAMILY ENDING

"And while Cinderella and her prince did, in fact, live happily ever after, the point, gentlemen, is that they lived."

*sob*

p.s. there is a whole commentary on the function of religion as upper class political/social performance in EVER AFTER (see: the stepmother's cross necklace, "was the prince at church") cf. w/the fact that servants cannot attend, the prince ducks out to hit up monasteries, etc.