If your response to the queer community is that you are only willing to engage with folks that of which act by your definition of the word "civil", I don't feel you have our best interests in mind. We're tired of having to defend ourselves purely for existing. Please trust us.

Not all of us have the energy to sit down and educate every single person, at their pace, on queer politics and what not.

Not all of us want to deal with the devil's advocate of having to justify our existence, rather than the other person having to justify why we shouldn't.

Not all of us will respond well to folks demanding what they consider "enough" evidence to decry members of our broader communities. Not all of us want to categorize and store receipts like a librarian. We just want to feel safe.

If you aren't keyed in to all the going ons in our world, and we all have made a decision that someone is problematic and should be removed, you should trust us rather than demand we supply you with whatever evidence you want. We've already made our decision.

There isn't any more debating we want to engage in at that point. We aren't incapable of making rational decisions on who is a problem in our communities. If we universally agree that someone(s) is a harasser/abuser/bigot/problematic, we've reached that point in a rational way.

I do my best to try to teach folks and inform folks about whats going on in the queer community, and it can be absolutely exhausting. I can't always reproduce every receipt I know exists, I sometimes stumble my words even. This doesn't mean that my opinions form on shakey ground.

Far too many people are willing to ignore the voices of many, many queer folks saying that a person is problematic, in favor of listening to that single person who was called out, simply because we haven't justified ourselves in the way they want.

So of course many of us are done. Many of us are less than civil, quick to call out, fast to snap at someone asking questions. When every aspect of your existence is picked apart and scrutinized constantly, wouldn't you be as well?