how i feel about the zodiac signs; a thread

disclaimer: this is just a joke, don’t take it personally and this doesn’t necessarily applies to you

aries:
— i hate you and love you
— protective with your friends
— kind of aggressive when angry
— has some good jokes
— you’re not intimidating, you’re softie i know you are
— you cannot be tall. that’s it. you’re like a chihuahua
— jealousy

taurus:
— stop being so stubborn
— you laugh at absolutely everything
— why are you always hungry
— stop saying “i’ll answer them later” because you know you end up leaving them on read
— dependent
— you don’t outstand but that’s ok
— please realize your worth

gemini:
— overhated and underrated FOR WHAT
— you’re the only one who can be mean and extremely hot at the same time
— great liars
— people get the wrong impression of you
— intelligent but you’re lazy
— commitment issues
— probably the hot, sassy and smart antagonist

cancer:
— stop crying
— stop playing the victim, you know you’re manipulative
— romantic
— fantasize about a romance
— in love with a fictional badass character, probably the hot antagonist
— compassionate
— you care a lot about your friends

leo:
— you pretend to be the best but that’s because you feel like you’re the worst
— loud as fuck
— kind-hearted but takes the bad paths
— you pretend to not care but you care
— dramatic, you always make it seem more than it is
— amazing music taste (give me your playlist)

virgo:
— you care about every single little detail
— really nervous, you probably bite all your nails
— jesus christ calm down, everything will be alright
— a great friend
— you give good advices but never follow them
— it’s ok to mess up sometimes
— good fashion-sense

libra:
— make up your mind please, you don’t need to take to much time to decide what you’re going to order
— the best sense of humor
— people love you
— a sweetheart
— have been through hell
— you know how to flirt but you’re too shy
— you probably read fanfics

scorpio:
— you are not the antagonist. you are not evil or a baddie. stop trying to be mean for attention to look hot.
— you’re a softie
— jealousy
— you mock people’s voices when they call you out (ex: i’M tHe WoRsT)
— persistent
— intense
— curious

sagittarius:
— you pretend to be the sweetest but you’re a demon
— free-spirit
— you can be the best or the worst person, there’s no in-between
— dedicated
— free-spirit
— optimistic
— you can’t stand jealousy people, you need some space and freedom

capricorn:
— ambitious
— you’re really pessimist, that’s why you always work so hard because you think you’ll fail
— you’re not a failure, i promise
— you’re either really dry or really sensitive
— would choose to be a millionaire over having a soulmate
— practical
— stoic

aquarius:
— you pretend to be tough and to not care but you’re hurt
— don’t cut people off, you have to face them
— independent
— you’re very original and creative
— cold as hell and you don’t realize it
— you’re a little freaky
— very easy going

pisces:
— stop crying please, i’m begging you it’s getting annoying
— different than cancers, you think you’re manipulative and a master-mind but you’re not all that
— empathic
— you’re generous, you can’t lie even though you try
— very naive
— the therapist friend
— mystical

end of thread