Thread by @StephTaitWrites, So here's something I don't think I've really talked about much publicly [...]

So here& #39;s something I don& #39;t think I& #39;ve really talked about much publicly (& CERTAINLY didn& #39;t plan to today) but I think it& #39;s time to put my own embarrassment aside & have a real chat about adult diapers.

You know who wears them?

I do.

(Thread. Yes really! Stick w/ me please.) https://twitter.com/ImCoolCam101/status/1310650830836596736">https://twitter.com/ImCoolCam...

https://twitter.com/ImCoolCam101/status/1310650830836596736

To all the people who came up to chat or shake hands or get a book signed at @EvolvFaith last year, I bet you had no idea that I was wearing Depends.

In fact, if you& #39;ve seen me speak live or had me guest preach at your church, there is a good probability I was wearing them.

Why?

Well first off, I want to state clearly that disabled people never have *any* obligation to share *any* specifics about their condition. That being said, I& #39;m going to go ahead and explain a little because I think that it would be helpful here.

People require incontinence products for a variety of different medical issues, and not everyone who uses them needs them all the time. I& #39;m in that group of users that doesn& #39;t always need them, it varies a lot for me - just like a lot of my symptoms do.

In my case I& #39;m *usually* in them for one of two issues:

1) I have some damage to one of my kidneys from past kidney infections & am still prone to recurring infections. In 2019 for example I had 8 separate Infections of my bladder and/or kidneys.

2)When my neurological issues are flaring up, I experience significant tremors & spasms. Some of those spasms are strong enough to cause episodes of urinary incontinence. Sometimes I can start to experience tremors/spasms seemingly out of nowhere, without any real warning signs.

Because I can& #39;t always know when these issues will come up, I always carry a pair or two of depends in my purse, and stash a backup set of pants & an extra pair of depends in my car. If my body is strained from traveling or I know I& #39;m having a flare, I wear them automatically.

When I have an important speaking engagement or personal appearance, I often wear them for peace of mind - because I worry a lot about being hit with an unexpected spasm when I& #39;m on stage and having an accident.

So now the big question: WHY on God& #39;s green earth am I talking about this? And on TWITTER for heaven& #39;s sake?

Because it& #39;s time to break the stigma around diapers/incontinence products.

And it& #39;s DEFINITELY time for us to confront the harmful ableism of using needing to wear these products as an insult.

I wear Depends.

I& #39;m also an accomplished writer and a damn good public speaker, a dedicated activist and educator, and would do just as good of a job as any abled counterpart if I ever decided to run for public office.

(I& #39;m wearing Depends in all of these photos)

I wear Depends.

I also have a husband who is pretty dang in love with both me AND my body. Because despite the way we& #39;re portrayed in popular culture, #disabled people are not only fully sexual adults, we& #39;re also *sexually desirable* - even when we use diapers.

When you use wearing diapers as a comedic insult, you& #39;re actually insulting countless folks like me who use these products. From political cartoons to comedy sketch shows to sitcom jokes, adult diapers and the people who wear them are a sort of low hanging fruit for a cheap laugh

Diaper wearers are usually portrayed as some combination of

* feeble
* immature
* gross
* senile
* a sexual turnoff or unsexual/asexual
* not a real adult
* elderly
* incapable of caring for themselves

Yet for many (if not most) real life users NONE of those things are accurate

You can wear diapers & not be anywhere near elderly.

You can wear diapers & live independently - or even be responsible for caring for others.

You can wear diapers & have a healthy sex life with a partner that still finds you wholly desirable.

Diapers are simply a tool.

Diapers are NOT an insult.

Using them to portray someone as immature/gross/senile/feeble, or using them to try dehumanize someone for either humors sake or political points is ableism - and it& #39;s harmful.

Remember - modern diapers are often designed with discretion in mind, so it& #39;s very possible that someone you know uses diapers. Just because you don& #39;t *think* you know anyone who would be hurt by diaper jokes doesn& #39;t actually mean you don& #39;t.

The more you engage in those sort of ableist jokes, the more you& #39;re ensuring your friends and loved ones can& #39;t feel safe to disclose their truth to you. They& #39;ll be silenced and shamed, and the stigma will only grow.

So if you see jokes about #TrumpWearsAdultDiapers, memes or cartoons depicting him in a diaper, or those photos of his lumpy pants or showing possible signs of an incontinence episode?

SPEAK UP.

Your silence creates the culture of acceptance around that sort of ableism.

PS: A shoutout to @bobbytait , who still comes over to give my booty a squeeze - even when I& #39;m wearing depends.

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