It's really a bit disappointing that Peterborough doesn't have a restaurant or takeaway called 'Upon This Wok'. In a city that's dedicated to the patron saint of all you can eat buffets (don't believe me? Check out Acts 10:12-13)

Service in the restaurant would be poor, though, as they would deny three times they had taken your order

It could, however, have a signature dish called 'Get Thee Behind Me Seitan'

And another called 'Quiche to the Kingdom'

And so that other Peterborough saints didn't get left out, they would also serve the Kyneburger

And the fried chicken is to deny for

OK someone needs to stop me now