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#Xicheng LXC learns what it means to have JC’s heart
CW: angst w/ a happy ending
LXC has been in seclusion for 1 year when he receives the first letter from sect leader Jiang. Although the letter was short, it starts a correspondence that lasts the entirety of LXC’s seclusion. +
CW: angst w/ a happy ending
LXC has been in seclusion for 1 year when he receives the first letter from sect leader Jiang. Although the letter was short, it starts a correspondence that lasts the entirety of LXC’s seclusion. +
LXC comes out of seclusion after 5 years. JC has become a dear friend to him in that time. They still meet frequently and LXC spends many nights talking to JC about everything and nothing. There is a pang in his heart when he remembers who he used to do this with. +
But it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as it used to.
It helps that JC always brings an amazing tea with him whenever he visits. He claims it is a special tea brewed from a flower in Yunmeng. +
It helps that JC always brings an amazing tea with him whenever he visits. He claims it is a special tea brewed from a flower in Yunmeng. +
Heart Flower Tea, it is called, named after the Heart Flower and for its soothing properties that help mend broken hearts. LXC thinks that last part is completely made up, but he enjoys the tea nonetheless. +
The two years that pass are the happiest he has ever been. He feels stronger every day. The burdens he used to carry like heavy rocks have become so much lighter. LXC feels like nothing can go wrong. +
Until JC confesses to him. LXC is shocked. He refuses JC as gently as he can. His heart still has lingering attachments that he cannot get rid of and doesn’t think he has room for anyone else. JC is heartbroken but he accepts LXC’s rejection. +
JC promises that they can stay friends, that it won’t change anything between them. But LXC knows something has changed. Each day he can see JC smiling less and less. +
A month later, JC enters seclusion. It causes an uproar in the cultivation world. No one understands why. It is not in his nature. He refuses all visitors, even Jin Ling. WWX tries to barge in several times but he never succeeds. +
WWX finally relents when Jin Ling tearfully begs him to respect JC’s wish to be alone. JC’s second in command runs Lotus Pier in his absence. +
LXC misses him. He had spent almost 6 years talking to JC every day. He feels the loss keenly. Three months in, he sends a letter to JC. JC does not respond. LXC is not deterred. JC had written to him every day when he was in seclusion. It was time he returned the favor. +
He writes letters every day but never gets a reply.
When JC emerges for the first time after 3 years, he is different. He is cold and emotionless. WWX and LXC are devastated. They try to talk to him but he just doesn’t seem to care, dismissing them without even a second glance.+
When JC emerges for the first time after 3 years, he is different. He is cold and emotionless. WWX and LXC are devastated. They try to talk to him but he just doesn’t seem to care, dismissing them without even a second glance.+
This goes on for months.LXC keeps desperately trying to reach out to his friend. He remembers their talks, their laughs, their weekly tea meetings. It feels like he has lost a part of himself. He doesn’t want to lose the one friend he has left, but he feels like he already has. +
~~~~
On a chilly autumn morning, LXC receives a report about a disturbance in Caiyi Town. There are rumors about a monster going around and stealing hearts. It has already stolen the hearts of several people. +
On a chilly autumn morning, LXC receives a report about a disturbance in Caiyi Town. There are rumors about a monster going around and stealing hearts. It has already stolen the hearts of several people. +
LXC goes to investigate and finds the common thread: the monster is only after the hearts of people in immense emotional pain. The monster seems to thrive on the negative energy stored in those hearts. LXC follows the trail of broken-hearted villagers and finds the monster. +
LXC draws his sword and attacks. LXC’s attacks are powerful, but the monster is unbeatable. Nothing LXC does makes any dent in the monster. He knows when he is defeated. +
In a last desperate attempt, LXC offers his own heart in exchange for the monster to stop eating the hearts of his people. The demon laughs and tells him no. Mockingly, he tells LXC that he can’t take his new heart. It was in the conditions of the agreement from 5 years ago. +
LXC is confused. He demands answers from the demon. The demon toys with him, enjoying the anger that is rising in LXC. The monster eventually drops the name Jiang Wanyin. LXC attacks the monster again. The demon laughs, delighting in the turmoil growing in LXC’s heart. +
When LXC is worked up and ready to explode, the demon reveals his terrible secret.
JC had come to him years ago to ask for his help in healing LXC’s broken heart. The Jiang sect leader had proposed a trade: he would give his heart to LXC and LXC would receive JC’s heart. +
JC had come to him years ago to ask for his help in healing LXC’s broken heart. The Jiang sect leader had proposed a trade: he would give his heart to LXC and LXC would receive JC’s heart. +
Once this was done, JC would offer his new heart to the demon freely, as long as the demon never tried to go after LXC after the trade. JC had been so desperate. +
The monster didn’t need to be human to know that the Yunmeng sect leader was deeply in love. But it was also clear all his affection was one-sided. +
The monster didn’t even need to eat JC’s heart. The little human was so terribly amusing. He proposed a game: JC would feed LXC the Heart Flower Tea that would slowly transfer their hearts. During this time, JC would be given 2 years to earn LXC’s love. +
If LXC loved JC back, then that broken heart in JC’s chest would heal and they would both be whole again. But if not, JC’s heart would break completely and he would lose all his emotions. +
LXC is devastated. He had unknowingly broken JC’s heart years ago when he had rejected him. The demon laughs. He mocks him one last time: +
“What is a human without a heart? No feelings, not one single emotion to guide your decisions in life. Tell me, has he become an empty husk yet?”
LXC puts all of his energy into his next attack but the demon disappears, his sinister laugh echoing in LXC’s ears. LXC screams. +
LXC puts all of his energy into his next attack but the demon disappears, his sinister laugh echoing in LXC’s ears. LXC screams. +
After going back and explaining to LWJ and WWX what happened, they all go to see JC. When they get to JC, they see the signs that they were blind to. JC isn’t turning them away, he just doesn’t care. There are no feelings. No happiness, no sadness, no anger. He just exists. +
LXC breaks. He cries and cries. He caused this. He caused this beautiful, kind man to turn into this. LXC visits him over and over again, hoping that if he could just prove his love to JC, then JC’s heart would heal. +
LQR is worried and calls LXC in for a talk. He tells LXC not to do this. LXC stands his ground and they get close to shouting. LXC feels hurt. And tired. And frustrated. Mostly at himself. The feelings overwhelm LXC and he quietly tells his shufu that he can’t give up. +
“He gave me his heart. He gave me the only thing left that he could give and I threw him away. It’s my fault. I can’t give up. I have to help him.” LXC has never felt so much pain. He’s crying tears in front of his uncle for the first time in a long time, but he can’t stop. +
This heart that was given to him had always been so full of emotions. LQR finally agrees but requires LXC to stay at CR because he still has duties to attend to. LXC asks the Yunmeng Jiang successor to move JC to the Cloud Recesses. JC doesn’t care either way so he goes. +
He moves in with LXC into the Hanshi. They start their life together. LXC does everything he can to get a response from JC. But he is met with nothing. Each emotionless response that he receives makes his heart sink a little lower. But LXC keeps going. +
~~~~
LXC cries a lot during the first few years. As time goes on, it hurts less and less as LXC pours all of himself into taking care of JC. He tells him “I love you” every day. JC never responds. +
LXC cries a lot during the first few years. As time goes on, it hurts less and less as LXC pours all of himself into taking care of JC. He tells him “I love you” every day. JC never responds. +
One night he asks “Would you still give up your heart if you knew you would turn out like this?”
“I don’t know. I can’t feel regret anymore.” JC replies. LXC cries that night harder than he ever has. +
“I don’t know. I can’t feel regret anymore.” JC replies. LXC cries that night harder than he ever has. +
Years pass. LXC loves and loves and gives and gives. LWJ has told him before to give up but LXC just shook his head and that was the end of the conversation. +
LXC doesn’t stop hoping. He doesn’t stop looking for signs that JC can feel again. And LXC sees small things. The small annoyed sound JC makes when he drops something. The nostalgic look JC has sometimes when he looks towards Yunmeng. +
The barely there smile he made to the little girl who gave him a flower.
LXC has to believe he’s healing. He has to. Every instance of a fleeting emotion makes LXC so unbelievably happy. +
LXC has to believe he’s healing. He has to. Every instance of a fleeting emotion makes LXC so unbelievably happy. +
22 years later, LWJ and WWX invite them to celebrate their new child’s first month celebration. This is their second child and they are excited to be parents again after so long. The celebration is in Yunmeng at WWX’s request, because the child was adopted from Yunmeng. +
The sect leader grants WWX’s wish in honor of JC’s old ties to WWX. JC sits emotionless for most of the time. But the children of the Yunmeng villagers come up to him and talk to him even when he doesn’t answer. +
They braid his hair and ask him questions and only go their own way when their parents call them to leave. That night, he goes for a walk with LXC. LXC loves these little walks because he takes it as a sign that JC is starting to feel again. +
JC stops at the pier and says softly, “Xichen.” LXC smiles.
“Hm?” He looks at JC and waits. JC hesitates with his words. He starts and stops several times before saying,
“I feel...happy.” +
“Hm?” He looks at JC and waits. JC hesitates with his words. He starts and stops several times before saying,
“I feel...happy.” +
The smile JC has on while saying that is small, but it lights up his whole face. LXC is speechless. He stares and stares. Something dark and ugly inside of him finally lifts. +
He turns to JC and asks “May I kiss you?” JC is surprised. But he nods. LXC kisses him for the first time ever. LXC cries again, but this is the first time in a long time that he is shedding happy tears. +
3 more years pass and JC regains his emotions slowly. Happiness, anger, confusion, elation, they all return. WWX hugs him all the time now, so happy to have his brother back. +
Jin Ling takes it upon himself to visit more often, bringing different sweets for his jiujiu to try each time. LXC and JC continue their relationship. +
LXC asks JC to marry him on a warm Spring day of their 25th year living together.
On their wedding night, JC says “I love you.” This time LXC accepts. This time, LXC is the one to embrace JC. This time, LXC holds tightly onto JC and vows to never let him go.
End
On their wedding night, JC says “I love you.” This time LXC accepts. This time, LXC is the one to embrace JC. This time, LXC holds tightly onto JC and vows to never let him go.
End
