bakugou doesn’t realize he’s losing his hearing until kirishima asks why he didn’t respond to his texts,,
#kiribaku

it’s a sunday.

no class, no training (though bakugou did go down to do a few rounds with the punching bag earlier), no stress.

bakugou is just laying in his bed absentmindedly flipping through some magazines when there’s a knock on his door

he doesn’t want to open it. he doesn’t want to be bothered. this is his day off, he just wants to rest.

but the knocking doesn’t stop and now it’s getting on his nerves. he might just lose it because whoever it is is a persistent little shit

“hold your damn horses, i’m comin!” he shouts as he angrily slides off his bed and stomps up to the door.

“who the hell is-“

“hey!” kiri cuts him off with a wide smile as he flings the door open

oh. of /course/ it’s kirishima. he should’ve guessed whenever the person kept knocking instead of just leaving him be

“what do you want, shitty hair?” bakugou asks, leaning against his doorframe

kirishima scratches the back of his neck, his wide smile being replaced with an awkward grin

“i was just seeing if i could hang with you for a little bit. i texted you, but you didn’t answer. got a little worried.”

it sounded silly, now that kirishima had said it out loud.

i mean katsuki not texting him back was fine really, he had no real reason to be worried when he knew he was just next door. but,, kirishima just couldn’t help it

maybe he was just spoiled now because bakugou /always/ answers his texts. even when he’s ignoring everyone else he’ll still always text kirishima back.

yeah, this really was silly, huh?

“but it’s cool, man! you’re probably just busy and wanting to chill on your own. i get it!! have a good night, dude!” kiri says before turning to walk away, trying to fight off the embarrassed blush on his cheeks

he’s stopped by a hand gripping the back of his t-shirt, making him stumble back into bakugou’s doorway

“i didn’t get any texts.”

kirishima blinks at him for a moment, head tilting to the side, before another wave of embarrassment washes over him.

oh no, did he forget to hit send? did he just imagine texting katsuki?? great, now he feels like double the idiot

“i swear i did,” he mumbles to himself as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. after a few clicks and taps, his messages are open. and lo and behold, the messages he had sent to katsuki twenty minutes ago are right there

he definitely sent them

“yeah, see,” kirishima smiled, showing his screen to bakugou

katsuki stared at it for a moment before letting out a huff and turning to walk into his room, his hand still gripping the back of kirishima’s shirt

he grabs his phone off the bed and checks it. once again, there the messages are plain as day, right in his notifications.

maybe he just didn’t have his ringer on

“didn’t see ‘em,” he shrugs, letting go of kirishima’s shirt and flopping down onto the bed. “yeah, you can hang in here. i don’t care.”

kirishima flops down on the bed beside him, unseen messages long forgotten as he talks katsuki’s ear off about his training and something kaminari had said at breakfast

even though katsuki’s listening to his best friend ramble, he can’t seem to shake the uneasy feeling of him not hearing the texts come through.

it’s odd to him, he never misses texts from kiri. he even set a specific text tone for him so he would know it right off the bat

he tried to shake it off though, it wasn’t a big deal. just a few missed texts is all. not the end of the world.

maybe his phone had been on silent

but then it happens again the following saturday

it’s not a text this time. but kiri knocks on his door again, that same odd smile on his face when bakugou opens up his door.

“what?”

“i called you,” kirishima laughs nervously, suddenly becoming very interested in his shoelaces.

he felt like he was bothering him. always showing up when he didn’t answer his texts. he felt clingy and needy and stupid.

but bakugou never said he was anything like that. never shoved him away or told him to fuck off (not seriously, anyways). never said he was too clingy for showing up at his dorm room door like this.

so he figured it was okay, right?

but when he looked up and saw the very unfamiliar expression on his best friend’s face, his heart sank to his stomach.

maybe this time was different.

“uh, bro? you good?” kirishima asks a little worried as he takes a step closer to bakugou, into his room.

bakugou’s staring at him, eyebrows knitted together

yeah he’s good. he’s fine. he’s whatever. he’s just confused as all hell.

because he knows that he sure didn’t hear kirishima /call/ him. he never heard his phone ring from where it was sitting on his desk. his desk that was only a few feet away from where he was laid in bed

this was starting to piss him off. the fact that he wasn’t hearing kirishima’s messages and calls.

it was just little stuff right now, wanting to hang out or go get something to eat, but what if it had been something serious?

the idea of missing a critical call from kiri, his best friend, made him feel sick.

why the hell didn’t he hear his call?

he turned away from his friend and walked over to his desk, picking up his phone and reaching for the silence button.

it’s fine, his phone was just on silent and that’s why he didn’t-

but when he slides the button, it shows mute.

it phone wasn’t on silent before.

“huh?” he mumbles under his breath, staring at the phone screen and missed notifications.

he quickly turns his ringer back on and grabs kirishima’s phone out of where he knew it would be in his sweatpants pocket

dude, what’re doing?” kirishima asks, reaching a hand up to place it on katsuki’s shoulder as he watches his actions

bakugou doesn’t answer, simply pulls up the contact name ‘blasty’ in kiri’s phone and hits call

and this time, he hears the ring. though it’s quieter than he normally has his ringer set, he hears it nonetheless. kirishima gives him a questioning look as his phone gets shoved back into his hands.

“must’ve just had my ringer down or some shit, didn’t hear the call earlier,” bakugou shrugs, trying not to show any of the concern that he was just seconds ago

kirishima just blinks at him

because his ringer /wasn’t/ down.

it was the same volume that bakugou always had it set at, not any quieter than normal. but maybe this was just bakugou’s way of saying sorry he missed the call? kiri didn’t really know.

but he did know that something was definitely going on.

but he also knew better than to push it.

that was the thing with katsuki, if you wanted to know something you had to wait until /he/ was fully ready to open up about it. cause otherwise he would just blow your face off and tell you to go to hell

not that he had ever been /that/ rude to kirishima about it, not since their first year, but still.

so kiri simply cleared his throat and plastered his smile on his face again, inviting katsuki to go out for some grub

he accepted

then, it was a tuesday, during a lesson with present mic

he goes through class like normal, hardly paying attention, he didn’t need to anyways. he was smart enough to be able to pick up on the lesson fast enough. and soon class is over, and he’s walking with his friends to lunch, kirishima’s arm around his shoulder

“guess the loud mouth finally found out how to use his inside voice, huh,” bakugou scoffed as they walked, earning a laugh out of denki

“you’re joking right?”

bakugou sends him a glare and a raised eyebrow, somehow offended. kami just chuckles again, elbowing his side lightly

“mans was just as loud as he always is. screaming all lesson.”

“yeah dude, you got cotton in your ears or somethin’?” sero teases from the other side of kaminari.

they all laugh at that. well, all of them but bakugou of course. and.. kiri

because now kirishima is actually worried that something is going on. bakugou not hearing his ringer was one thing, but saying that present mic had gotten.. quieter?

kiri would almost say that katsuki was just pulling their leg, but deep down he knew /that/ wasn’t true

the conversation ended when kaminari declared a race on sero to see who can make it to the lunch room first, mina following after them yelling that sero is cheating if he uses his tape

now it’s just eijirou and katsuki. if kiri was wanting to ask anything, this was his chance

but as soon as he goes to open his mouth, bakugou just huffs, arms crossing over his chest and his jaw tensing

“idiots, can’t even fucking tell that mic has gotten quieter. how would they know? dumbasses don’t even pay attention in class.”

he was deflecting, kirishima could tell.

it was the way his forearms tensed against his chest, how he bit down on the inside of his cheek, how his ears tinged a slight shade of pink.

he was deflecting the situation entirely. brushing it off as if it never happened

but it had. the same kind of thing had happened three times now in just the past two weeks, kirishima couldn’t help but be worried.

i mean, this was his best bro! best friend! the guy he’s been in love with since their first year here! of course he’s worried!!!

he’s even more worried because katsuki hasn’t said /anything/ to him about it.

they always told each other everything. always. even when they told no one else, the other was always aware of their secrets. it was their thing! they were supposed to confide in each other!

and the fact that bakugou wasn’t doing that right now made kirishima physically sick to his stomach

“hey kat,” kirishima says softly, using the arm he had thrown around his shoulder to pull him to a stop, turning to face him

god, he’s nervous to ask this

the simple concerned look on his face is enough to make bakugou’s nerves to stand on end.

did something happen? is kirishima alright? what’s wrong? did someone do something to him? is he okay? bakugou swears to god if anyone laid a finger on him-

“are you alright, kat?”

hold on, what?

yeah he’s alright. why wouldn’t he be alright? he’s perfectly fucking fine and there’s literally no reason for kiri to be asking him this.

“you’ve.. been kinda off lately, man. i’m just a little worried i guess. you know i’m here to.. listen if you need to talk”

the emphasis on the word ‘listen’ was enough to make katsuki immediately realize what he was trying to say.

shit, did kiri catch on? was he making it so overly obvious that /something/ was going on with his stupid ears lately? shit shit shit shit

“i don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, shitty hair,” bakugou rolled his eyes, shrugging kirishima’s hand off his arm. “i’m hungry. let’s go.”

and once again the conversation was closed. shut down before kiri could even get anywhere with it

he’s really worried

and then, it finally happens three days later.

they’re in training and bakugou is firing off a series of explosions at mina and suddenly there’s a loud ringing and then

holy fuck, he. can’t. hear.

he can’t hear. he can’t hear. he can’t hear. he can’t hear. the ringing is so loud. why is it to loud? it hurts holy fuck it-

he doesn’t realize he’s on the ground and clutching his ears until aizawa is crouched down beside him, placing a hand on bakugou’s back and asking him /something/

something that bakugou can’t even decipher from a muffled garble right now

his friends are around him and his classmates are all staring worriedly and his pride would’ve been so badly damaged if he wasn’t in so much damn /pain/

it feels like his eardrums had burst, maybe they had, maybe he was just getting risky with his explosions and now he was-

the feeling of two hands pressing into his cheeks made his eyes shoot wide open, looking forward with fear plastered on his face

kirishima was trying to talk to him, cupping his face and mouthing off something to him, concern painted all over his face

and bakugou is hit with the realization that he can’t hear him. he can’t hear kirishima. he can’t hear the bubbly voice of his best friend. the voice of his closest companion. the voice of the love of his life (though kiri wasn’t aware of that title).

he. couldn’t. hear. him.

before he can comprehend what’s going on, he’s being escorted to recovery girl —still clutching at his ears— as kirishima and aizawa walk on either side of him.

aizawa makes kirishima stand outside while he takes bakugou in, and kirishima can’t stop shaking

he has /never/ seen that look on bakugou’s face before. he has never seen him look so absolutely shattered and afraid in the entire two years he had known him. it made kirishima’s entire body tremble as the image stayed engraved in his mind

he pressed his forehead against the wall, palms also pressing against it, as he tried to settle his breathing.

it was going to be fine. bakugou was going to be fine. because he was always fine. he had been through worse than whatever the hell /this/ was and always came out-

“kirishima.”

kiri snapped his head away from the wall at the sound of his teacher’s gruff voice. oh, kirishima had been standing there for a while now, huh.

“he’s asking for you.”

now that kirishima was no longer zoned out, he could hear the yells and screams coming from recovery girl’s office.

“get the fuck off me!”
“where’s kirishima?”
“i need to talk to fucking shitty hair!”
“i ain’t saying shit to you!”

kirishima swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded, slipping past aizawa and into the room. bakugou was throwing a level four fit on the bed, seemingly back to his old self as kirishima walked in.

“bakugou?”

katsuki snapped his head over to him, his thrashing coming to an instant stop as he stared at the red head.

he.. heard him?

oh thank god

“bakugou, hey,” kirishima repeated, smile on his face as he stepped up to the bed katsuki was sitting on, nudging his shoulder with his fist.

bakugou stared up at him, jaw set, hands balled into tight fists.

“oi, can we have a minute?”

recovery girl glanced between the two boys before walking out of the room, aizawa following after her and shutting the door behind them.

it was quiet for a while, neither of them saying anything, neither of them looking at each other.

kirishima didn’t like the quiet

he has to say something. he /wants/ to.

he wants to ask what happened back there and if bakugou was still hurting and if there was anything he could do to help and if bakugou was going to be okay and if maybe his ears weren’t as alright and

“are you fucking crying?”

kirishima’s hand flew up to his face and he was instantly turning his body away, he didn’t want to look weak right now

“what? of course not, bro. just got something in my eye.”

“shitty hair,” bakugou ground out, tugging the back of kiri’s shirt. “don’t fucking lie to me”

kirishima slowly looked back to him, eyes locking on the spot where bakugou was gripping onto his shirt, sniffling a little

“...maybe.”

bakugou scoffs, tugging kiri’s shirt to pull him closer to the bed, his way of gesturing for him to sit down. kirishima does, staying on the edge, still not meeting bakugou’s eyes.

it was making bakugou frustrated

“what? not gonna fucking talk to me now?” katsuki snapped, hands balling into fists again. “you just gonna ignore me?”

“what? no, i didn’t-“

“should’ve guessed. you probably think i’m just some weak extra now, huh? think you’re fucking better than me, that i’m less than a man?”

“bakugou i never said that, you-“

“then stop fucking lying to me! tell me what the hell you’re thinking because i need to hear it right now! i need to hear you! i need to know what’s going on!”

“i was just fucking scared okay?!” kirishima screamed, finally making eye contact

the air gets stuck in bakugou’s throat as kirishima yells at him, tears streaming down the red head’s face, arms wrapped around himself.

now this? bakugou has never seen kirishima like /this/

yeah he’d seen kiri cry over the past two years, whatever, no big deal.

but this was different.

this time kiri was sitting in the hospital type bed and was shaking and crying over /bakugou/ because of /bakugou/ for /bakugou/

bakugou couldn’t croak out a response as he stared at his best friend, his chest aching and his heart pounding loudly in his ears

it kinda hurt, if he was being honest

“you weren’t answering me and i got scared and you looked terrified and i couldn’t /do/ anything and i couldn’t help you, i couldn’t fix it and it was scary because you couldn’t hear me and i know how much you like listening to music and you wouldn’t get to go that anymore and-“

“hey,” bakugou tried to interject

“-you wouldn’t be able to watch your favorite movies or hear all the stupid jokes that kami makes and hear the way sero curses in spanish or listen to mina’s gossip or listen to jirou playing bass or-“

“hey.” katsuki repeats, louder

kirishima stops to catch his breath when he feels katsuki’s hand grip onto his own, squeezing it tightly. god, he was rambling wasnt he? great, now katsuki is going to hate him even more

“sorry, i-“

“i was scared too.”

kirishima freezes and suddenly he realizes how selfish he really is

he had been thinking about how /he/ was going to react if bakugou couldn’t hear anymore, how /he/ was going to feel, what /he/ was going to do

god, he was insensitive

“why?” kirishima squeaks out, his grip on bakugou’s hand readjusting to intertwine their fingers.

bakugou’s hands felt.. cold.

they were never cold. they were always warm and welcoming and explosive. but right now they felt very, very cold.

kirishima frowned.

“i just,” katsuki started before clearing his throat.

he was trying to will himself not to cry, not to break down and actually look weak as shit in front of the manliness person he knew. he didn’t want to look stupid and helpless and scared.

but fuck, he was scared

“i didn’t know if i’d be able to hear your stupid voice again.”

there. the words were in the air. no backing out now. he had said it.

“i didn’t know if i would hear your cheesy compliments or your shitty singing on karaoke nights or the way you rant about how sero cheats in video games. i was scared i wasn’t going to be able to hear your stupid shitty voice again when it’s my favorite sound in the world-“

“kat-”

“-and it calms me instantly and i couldn’t fucking /hear/ you. i just- i just got so damn scared okay! because i couldn’t fucking hear and there were so many things i hadn’t heard you say yet. like your speech when you run for class rep or hearing you say i love you and-“

“wait. ‘i love you’?”

holy shit, did he actually say that part out loud? oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

bakugou looked away from him, ears pink and face flushed as he pulled his hand out of kiri’s grasp

“i didn’t say that.”

“bakugou, man, look at me,” kirishima pushed gently, reaching out for his hand again.

but bakugou refused, flinching away from the contact. no, he didn’t want to hear kirishima anymore

he didn’t want to hear it.

he didn’t want to hear the rejection, the overt words of disgust that he knew would be falling from his lips in just a moment.

he’d rather never hear anything for the rest of his life than have to listen to a pitiful rejection from kirishima.

he’d rather listen to the ringing

“go away,” bakugou says bluntly, voice low

“wait, what?” kirishima whispers, hardly loud enough for bakugou to hear at all

and bakugou breaks.

“go away! get the hell out of here shitty hair! go!” bakugou screams, explosions popping from his palms as he shoves kirishima off the flimsy mattress. “i don’t want to hear anything you have to say! leave me alone!”

and for a moment, kirishima stands there, hurt. bakugou has never, /never/ screamed at him like that before. shoved him like that before. acted like that with him before. and kirishima couldn’t help but feel hurt.

and he was trying so hard not to cry

without saying another word, kirishima shoved his hands into his pockets and walked out of the room. his presence being replaced with that of recovery girl’s, her telling bakugou that he was free to go after another quick check up.

bakugou suddenly felt like throwing up.

he went back to his dorm room, and as he paused at his door, he heard hard rock blasting through his neighbor’s door.

kirishima only played this specific band when he was upset. and fuck, he was /really/ upset.

katsuki was the cause of this.

bakugou slammed his door open and slammed it back shut, walking over to his bed and screaming as loud as he could into his pillows. he needed air. he needed a break. he needed a moment.

he needed kiri.

but he couldn’t have him right now. he was the reason that kirishima was blasting ac/dc next door. probably crying. probably screaming into his own pillow. probably-

for once in his goddamn life, bakugou actually heard his phone ring.

he didn’t look to see who it was, he didn’t care, he didn’t want to answer. he wasn’t going to answer.

but whoever it was kept blowing up his fucking phone and it was pissing him off even more and so he pulled it out of his pocket and slid it open.

“what the fuck do you want?” bakugou nearly screamed into his phone.

“dude, what’s wrong with kiri? he won’t answer any of our texts and he’s not opening his door and-“

“piss off,” bakugou snapped before hanging up.

his phone rang again seconds later and bakugou cussed, throwing it across the room and holding his hands over his ears. it was definitely shattered, but he didn’t really care.

he didn’t want to hear it anymore.

the contrast of bakugou’s mindset now compared to just hours prior was nearly unsettling.

pathetic, really.

in his sudden outburst, he hadn’t noticed how the music had stopped from next door. or the footsteps walking through it. or the knocks now sounding on his door.

he just couldn’t comprehend anything right now.

in all actuality, kirishima had heard bakugou’s phone hitting the wall and was worried. not by the sudden shatter, but by the lack of noise that followed it. his body moved on its own and he found himself knocking on bakugou’s door.

this was stupid, bakugou didn’t want to see him. he just told him that. it was pointless, what kirishima was doing.

bakugou didn’t open the door.

and the next few days are.. different.

they’re not seen in public together. not hanging out between class. not eating lunch at the same table. not training beside one another.

not /with/ each other.

and it’s killing them. it’s killing them both to be apart but kirishima wants to respect bakugou’s boundaries and bakugou, well..

bakugou just doesn’t want to face the fact that his hearing is getting worse by the day

he doesn’t want to break down and go to recovery girl for the hearing aids she offered him. he doesn’t want to have to use something just to be normal. he doesn’t want to have another weakness. he doesn’t want to be another anomaly.

but then bakugou is cooking breakfast one morning and denki and sero and mina as well as some other classmates are lounging around and sero tries to say something to him.

but bakugou has his back to them and he’s cooking and he honest to god just can’t hear

and denki mouths something off as soon as he turns around and bakugou picks up the last part of his sentence being “...maybe he’s finally going deaf.”

and bakugou drops the plate in his hand and let’s it shatter to the floor

in a matter of seconds, bakugou is gripping kaminari by the collar of his shirt with an explosion popping in his hand and all he sees is red.

“the fuck did you just say?!”

“woah, bakugou, calm down,” sero ushers him, followed by mina doing the same.

“hey he was just kidding around,” mina smiles softly, worry covering her face

and denki is staring up at him and he looks absolutely /terrified/ because, sure, bakugou’s threatened them before

but this time is different because bakugou isn’t backing down, he isn’t pulling his hand away, he isn’t shrugging it off.

he’s gripping denki harder and his hand is getting closer to his face and he has an explosion charging up in his hand ready to blow

everyone in the surrounding area is staring at him with baited breath and he can faintly hear iida yelling at him to stop and deku saying some whiny shit to call him off and jirou telling him to let denki go

but katsuki’s too far gone to listen

because denki wants to joke about him being deaf? okay then.

he just won’t hear anything. he won’t listen to anything other than the pops in his hand and the explosions in his ears and the ringing that he know will follow suit right after

because he’s sick of it. and they. just. don’t. get it.

they don’t get it and they don’t care and they don’t know what it’s like to lose their hearing, to lose something that’s always been a part of them, lose something that no one should ever have to lose

and it’s not fucking fair that katsuki, of all people, should have to lose it.

he was going to be a hero! number one! he was going to be the best and save the world and how the hell was he supposed to do that if he couldn’t do something simple like hear?

he was pissed. not even at denki, really. but just at everything. at the world. at how fucked up the universe was for taking his hearing away from him. at himself for being such a coward about all of this.

because even though he couldn’t /hear/, everything felt so fucking loud

it was so loud and he just wanted it to stop and apparently the only way he could do that was by blowing his friend’s face off because he just needed to get his anger out and get it out fast and-

suddenly there was a pair of arms wrapping around him.

“katsuki.”

kirishima.

kirishima’s voice was so loud next to his ear, his arms wrapped tight around his torso, quirk activated in the off chance that bakugou really was about to blow.

and, just like bakugou had said before, kirishima’s voice was all it took to calm him down

slowly, his hand dropped, his grip releasing on denki, his muscles relaxing. he glanced around at his classmates that were surrounding him, taking in their disheveled stares

shit, he was the reason for that

he shoved kirishima off of him and pushed past his classmates to get to the elevator, quickly pushing the button to his floor. just as the elevator door is about to close, a hand stops it.

kirishima slips into the elevator with him just in time.

bakugou can’t breathe, can’t seem to get any fucking air in his lungs and

fuck,, the ringing’s back

but not the same type of ringing as before, this one is from his heartbeat pounding against his ears from being stuck in such a small confinement as kirishima

he’s scared again

“kat,” kirishima says quietly, but loud enough so that he knows bakugou can hear him. “kat, please. /talk to me/“

and bakugou’s heart stops as he looks up and makes eye contact with kirishima

katsuki nearly jumps as the elevator dings, the door sliding open.

“nothing to talk about,” he mumbles out, exiting the elevator and making a bee line for his dorm room

he can’t handle this right now

but kirishima is having /none of that/

because he’s tired of avoiding him, tired of not being able to be there for him and know what’s going on and help him through whatever the hell he’s going through. he has to be there for katsuki. /he has to/.

because he loves him.

so he follows him straight to his dorm room and when bakugou tries to shut his door behind him after walking in, kirishima puts his foot in the way, stopping it.

katsuki looks back with murder in his eyes

“move your fucking foot, shitty hair.”

“no.”

“excuse you? i said fucking move!”

“and /i/ said /no/!”

“just leave me the hell alone! is that so fucking hard for you, hair for brains?!”

“i’m not leaving until you tell me what’s going on!”

“nothings going on!”

“you’re lying!”

bakugou stands with a puffed up chest, breathing heavy as anger runs rampant through his entire being, nearly making him tremble

kirishima wanted to know what was going on? fine.

he would fucking tell him what was going on.

he grabs kirishima and yanks him into his room so hard he nearly tumbles to the ground before he slams the door shut.

“what’s wrong? what’s /wrong/?” bakugou shouts, palms smoking as he whips back around to face his best friend. “what’s wrong is i’ve had two straight weeks

of pure hell and instead of you being there by my fucking side and helping me —standing /up for me/— you just cut all fucking ties and ignore me! some fucking friend you are! what happened to sticking by me no matter what? what happened to all that ‘it had to be you’ bullshit?”

he’s seething as he pauses for just half a beat to catch his breath, and then he’s going again

“you walked out on me when i fucking needed you, shitty hair! you deserted me when i was in a time of need. that’s not what friends do. that’s not what /men/ do! it’s unmanly as hell”

okay so now bakugou is just being down right unreasonable.

/he/ was the one that pushed kiri away. /he/ was the one that shut him out and told him to get the hell away. him, not kirishima. him. bakugou katsuki.

and kirishima was about to make that crystal fucking clear.

“i am so /sick/ of this katsuki!” kirishima lets out a frustrated yell. “don’t you dare get in my face talking about how bad of a friend i am, man! not when i was following /your/ orders! you think it wasn’t killing me not to be here for you? you think i didn’t want to be by

your side? that it doesn’t hurt me having to see you like this?! of course it does! it hurts like hell, kat! because i can’t do anything to help and you won’t even let me /be here/ for you! do you know how much it fucking hurts to watch the guy i love suffer everyday?!”

guy he.. loved?

no. nonono. there was no way he just heard him correctly. ‘guy i loved’? guy i loved. guy i loved. guy i-

holy shit.

the air was thick between the two as kirishima stood panting from his outburst, his and katsuki’s eyes locked together. for a second, he had wondered if he had actually went too far, and then

“say that last part again.”

what?

kirishima didn’t listen to him, he was too caught up in his daze that he had actually let the words slip that he hadn’t really heard katsuki’s request

“what? you the one going deaf now?” bakugou snapped, gripping kirishima’s shirt. “say it again, shitty hair!”

kirishima gulped.

“i love you, katsuki,” kirishima whispered, and was almost scared that he had said it too quiet for bakugou to hear him.

he should’ve spoke up, said it louder, been more considerate of bakugou’s hearing now and-

holy fuck.

bakugou is /kissing/ him

when the blonde pulls away, kirishima is staring at him with wide eyes and he, the poor sweet little gay panicking boy, says

“is it your heart that’s beating that loud or is it mine, it’s pounding holy shit.”

and bakugou rolls his eyes but he’s smiling. really, truly smiling.

because he hears a heart pounding too, and he’s not sure whose it is either. could be his, could be kiri’s, honestly probably both.

but he’s really smiling because he finally got to hear kirishima say the three words he’s wanted him to since their first year here

i love you.

“i’m.. losing my hearing,” bakugou finally says, his grip loosening on kiri’s shirt.

and now that bakugou had finally said it out loud —now that he had finally, finally /admitted/ it— it felt like an entire weight had been lifted off his chest, his shoulders.

“and recovery girl isn’t fucking sure how bad it’s going to get, or if i’ll fucking lose it entirely or not but,” katsuki pauses to steady his breath, his eyes trained down on his slippers “but i’m losing it and it’s not coming back.”

he bites down on his lip and shakes his head

he hates how pathetic his voice sounds, how his voice comes out with a slight wobble, how his tone sounds completely and utterly defeated.

he hates the way it sounds. hates it.

but he hates the way he’s losing the ability to hear it even more.

“shitty hair i don’t know what to fucking do,” he whispers and tries to stop his hands from shaking, but it’s a failed attempt. “if i lose my hearing altogether, if one day i wake up and it’s just fucking gone..”

he turns his eyes up to meet kiri’s, and the latter’s heart breaks

“does that mean i won’t be able to be a hero anymore?”

and suddenly kirishima’s hands are flying up to bakugou’s face to catch the tears that are finally falling. the tears he had been holding in for the past three weeks. the tears fueled by rage and anger and hurt.

it hurts.

“katsuki listen to me.”

bakugou frowns at the choice of words.

“it doesn’t matter if you lose your hearing or anything like that. you can save people without it, you can be a hero without it. because you’re the manliest person i know, and i believe in you. okay?”

bakugou just rolls his eyes again, letting out a “tch” as he slowly leans forward and wraps his arms around kirishima’s torso.

“...thanks, shitty hair.”

kirishima simply hugs him back and smiles, placing a kiss to his hair as he holds him close.

“anytime.”

kirishima goes with bakugou to get his hearing aids from recovery girl the next morning.

and bakugou finally realizes it’s okay.

it’s okay that he’s losing his hearing. it’s okay that he has this one flaw (okay so he has more than one, but he’s pushing it right now) that he can’t change.

because it’s okay to not be okay. and he’s finally come to terms with that.

and now, as he’s coming home to kirishima —his husband— in their cozy little apartment after a long day of hero work and kiri is kissing his ears and tracing over his palms and whispering out i love yous, bakugou really is /more/ than okay.

even if he’s losing his hearing.

- end of thread ⚘