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How should BIPOC respond if a white person in their life (or indeed anyone else) discloses that they've previously flirted/engaged with alt right ideas? I think it's a really good question, and no one BIPOC will respond the same way to that information.
One thing NOT to do, however, for white people to be aware of, is that they shouldn't tell BIPOC how to think or feel about that. They may feel betrayed, depending on how that information is presented. It's up to BIPOC to decide how to deal with that info.
The friendship may never be the same. That's okay, too. If you are the white person who has disclosed this, then it might be good to pause and reflect on what you want out of this. Do you want exoneration for your past beliefs? You may not get it.
Even if you've since changed, it may be very HARD for many of your friends to hear that you once believed something that dehumanized them and that you engaged with communities that sought to do them harm.
What white people should NOT do is go to a BIPOC and tell them that they are being unforgiving or wrong, because you as a white person felt okay with the confession and disclosure. That's not on you to decide. Never on you to decide.
What you should not do, if you are the one confessing, is dictate how people receive this information. Acknowledge that based on your positionality there are things you won't understand about people's feelings about that information.
People may be upset if you treat the disclosure of this information casually. Do not tell them they are overreacting or that they are wrong to feel that way. Give people space. People may also feel that you are minimizing it by saying "it was just a shitty thing I did as a kid"
Let's not forget too that Kyle Rittenhouse was also a "kid" and that the justice system bestows "childhood" on male perpetrators of white violence, and "adulthood" on Black and Brown people.
Saying "I was just a kid" may feel as though one is minimizing the harm done.
Another thing NOT to do is to say "Well, my BIPOC friend treated me the same after I told them that information, so why aren't you okay with it?" It's a mistake to treat BIPOC as monolithic.
