jasper was literally a child soldier forced to fight in a war the moment she popped into existence

she had to deal with fame she didnt think she deserved because she spent her entire life thinking she must be defective and hating herself for being from earth

her diamond was shattered and homeworld won the war which means she failed at the two things she was supposed to do in life (protect her diamond and fight for homeworld)

she then had to become part of yellow diamonds court and she was separated from her teamates that survived

she probably felt immense guilt over the fact that so many soldiers "died" but she survived even though she probably felt like she didny deserve to

years pass and she goes to earth and she's so happy that "rose quartz" is still alive. she knows that nothing she does can get her diamond back but the next best thing is avenging her diamond by bringing rose quartz back to homeworld.

but nope! that doesn't work out

in an attempt to beat the crystal gems so that she can finally at least try to fulfil her purpose, she asks lapis to fuse despite the fact that she thinks fusion is bad and gross

she was willing to go against her morals and beliefs because avenging pink diamond means that much to her

lapis fuses with her under false pretenses, and instead of helping her, she keeps her trapped in a forced fusion for months on end so that she can take all her anger from her trauma out on jasper.

lapis TORTURES jasper. and jasper is so scared and in so much pain but she thinks she deserves it. malachite is big and strong and powerful and jasper hasnt felt that way since before her diamond died, so she enjoys finally having that power back

jasper and lapis fuse, jasper stalks lapis and begs her to fuse with her again. she doesn't care that lapis hurt her, she doesnt care that she went through so much pain. all she cares about is feeling that strength that she missed so much.

she calls lapis a "monster" but she doesn't mean it in a negative way. she thinks lapis is superior to her and she was willing to go through all that pain just to fuse again.

jasper is rejected, but she feels so lonely and powerless without fusion. she thinks she NEEDS fusion to be worthy.

jasper bullies and taunts amethyst because she sees herself in her. amethyst reminds her of the fact that she was born on earth, a place that has only brought her pain and suffering. her bullying amethyst was more just trying to reassure herself that she is not defective

jasper then goes as far as to fuse with a corrupted gem, which then eventually escapes. she was so desperate for fusion she fused with a "monster" and she then is devastated when even the monster doesn't want to fuse with her.

fusing with the corrupted gem corrupts jasper.

steven tries to help her, but because of the homeworld mindset thats been ingrained to her her entire life, as well as her own feelings of self hatred, she refuses to let steven help, thinking that steven is trying to help her

because she doesn't believe that she's worthy of help or kindness or patience.

a year later, she is uncorrupted and forced into a completely different world. the diamonds are no longer in power, all the colonies have been dismanted, gems are no longer assigned a "purpose" and are free to do whatever they want.

but even more heartbreaking than that, rose quartz was pink diamond.

she spent thousands of years fighting a war for no reason. it means that she was forced into a fusion and was corrupted for no reason. it means her entire existence is pointless and she did all of that for nothing.

jasper has no idea what to do now that she doesnt have a purpose. her entire life was spent fighting a pointless war. she was taught from the minute that she was born that she needs to follow orders and she needs to fight. she based her entire concept of self worth and

self esteem over fighting but now everything's different.

her corruption scars make everything worse. they're evidence that she really is defective. her entire life she thought she was defective, and now she's finally got evidence to prove it. so she doesn't feel like she can ever go back to homeworld

she stays on earth, but completely isolates herself. all the other gems on earth are getting used to being uncorrupted and are getting used to earth but jasper can't.

she doesnt want to associate with anyone and she doesnt want to go to little homeschool and learn about how great it is to be able to do whatever you want, or how wonderful earth is because she still doesn't believe that.

her entire identity has been wiped and she has no idea who she is or what she should do now that she doesnt have a purpise.

and then she finally allows herself to talk to someone, steven. she helps him to control his powers and become stronger and she bonds with him.

and then he murders her. after finally allowing herself to make a friend, he kills her.

before this, she refused to see steven as her diamond and she angrily accepted that she didn't have a diamond anymore but her shattering changes that.