Thread by @ohpaulineee, i just need to let this thought out i have been feeling [...]

ohpaulineee

i just need to let this thought out

i have been feeling lost or empty these past few weeks,,,

i didn’t pay attention to it at first, but it went for so long that it starts to bother me now

i hope this feeling is not real,,,

i hope i’m just hungry

speaking of hungry,

i’m thin as a toothpick again :))

i haven’t been eating well or alot and just thinking of it makes me sad lol

i have been feeling tired and irritated all the time,,,

the only thing that keeps me up is running man and bts pff-

even though procrastination is all i ever do since, i think it became worse

and ever since school started, i haven’t made an artwork that is for me, for my happiness,,,,

and this drawing subject,,, for me, it doesn’t help me to be good at drawing, it only bring myself down and keep making excuses to not do it

i feel like,,,,

art school changed me.

it changed my passion for art.

i asked for improvement,

and i got despondency.

i don’t want to believe it and i really hope that that’s not the real reason,,,

these past few weeks, i get proud and happy whenever i see my friends post an artwork,,,

but today, all i can think is,

“when can i make an artwork that doesn’t relate to school?”
“when can i use all the art mats that i bought? the ones that i didn’t bought for school?”

i’m horrified ngl,,,,

falling out from something you love to do is the scariest thing that can ever happen to a person,

esp if you chose a path that you’d think would help you

now that i let some of it out, i keep thinking what would happen if i chose to study at feu... my strand would be stem,,,,

would i keep making art for myself for once a month? (lmaoojsksh) or would i have regret to not choose the art school?

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