Sooner or later everyone (and I do mean everyone) is gonna have to realize that functioning pluralistic democracy requires learning how to get along peaceably with people who are fundamentally alien and disconcerting to you.

Importantly, this isn’t a plea for “civility” or “norms.” It’s much more hard-nosed. Pluralistic democracy does not rest on a shared commitment to reason or whatever the enlightenment jargon is. It rests on hammering rules and detentes based on mutually assured destruction. 1/

This means, in part, drawing lines in the sand and being clear how you will retaliate when those lines are crossed. Good fences make for good neighbors. And I think we’re in a historical moment where this part of it is primarily what needs to be reasserted. But... 2/

This also means ceding some terrain, and picking some hills to not die on. It means accepting that some of your neighbors will freak you out, maybe even make you feel “unsafe” a bit, as the kids say. And that’s all part and parcel of the social compact we’ve committed to. 3/

Pluralistic democracy does not work if it cannot tolerate within its fabric elements that, if they got all their values fulfilled, would seem to negate it. This is the inherent tension. And there is no ultimate resolution to it. You just live with it. 4/4