And the meathead in an elevator who refused to social distance or wear a mask wants to fight me so I mayyyy need bail money. Because I talk back. Standby.

Like literally it’s going down at this hotel.

He says he is a “medical professional” and he would know that he doesn’t need a mask. Because I know no medical doctor calls themselves that, I keep making security call me Dr. Cottom in front of him.

I am going to end up fighting.

He literally just screamed, “what is it, a PhD?!!”

Here’s the thing. Vivian totally picked this fight. But the rules are, you talk slick to my mother and I destroy you.

I am about to own this effing hotel

Hi I now own @BallantyneHotel

I cannot believe this happened

So this white dude and a blonde woman elbow their way onto the elevator. They stand 1 foot from vivian without a mask on. She says something. And the dude goes rage roid. He starts screaming he is a “medical professional”. To me. Tressie. The person who studies status.

I mean, imagine choosing to take this route with me. I mean, my god, his worst day. Of all people, the person who can not only read that accurately but also diminish it just by standing there.

I’m still being cool EXCEPT, okay, so I laughed. But it was funny. No one says, “you’re taking to medical professionals” with a straight face. No one

Well, once I laughed it was on like popcorn. He starts raging and I keep laughing but I also invited him to jump if he was feeling groggy. Because as I told him, I liked my odds. I not only press 265 but I’m actually crazy. You ever fought a strong crazy person?

He can’t back down because of the blonde white woman. So he follows us out of the elevator, screaming the whole way. I casually tell a hostess she might want to call someone to help. Him not me. And I told him he was talking like a bitch. Because, again, he was.

Vivian, my mother, is useless. She cannot trash talk. She cannot fight. She can literally only instigate. At one point she stage whispers, “SHE IS THE REAL DOCTOR HERE”. And he advances on us at that point, spittle flying about me being a “fake doctor”.

At which point I said, better a fake doctor than a real “medical professional”. Apologies to all the medical professionals here but there are rules of war.

Security eventually comes running over. With a notepad he is actually less useful than Vivian.

On his way being herded out the door he still yelling at me. I told him he was acting kind of cheap but I could whip his ass for free

Just so you know, I’m actually myself in all contexts. I hate a bully.

“Medical professionals” LOL LOL

All of this because an adult male didn’t want to wear the mask that was IN HIS HAND while crowding an elderly woman in an elevator.