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here& #39;s a thread about the nie bros because i& #39;ve seen people saying that they never had a good relationship when that& #39;s 1) just not the case, and 2) drastically oversimplifying what their relationship actually is
(tw for discussions of chronic illness)
(tw for discussions of chronic illness)
quick disclaimer just in case: i know cql is MUCH more forgiving to nmj than the novel, esp if you include fatal journey. i& #39;ll be referencing both in this thread (if indirectly), so if you don& #39;t like that, sorry i guess.
basically, nmj wants the curse of the saber spirit to end with him, in no small part because he wants nhs to live his life the way he wants to, without the burdens that nmj had to deal with. and he largely lets nhs do his own thing with regards to his interests and values.
but i also think a lot of people don& #39;t realize just how much pressure nmj was under. he became sect leader at ~20 (maybe younger), his father was k*lled by the wens, and he inherited a sect on the border with qishan right on the brink of war. and on top of that he had to
raise his artsy drama queen little brother through adolesence. he& #39;s STRESSED. and of course he wants nhs to practice his saber, bc someday nmj is going to be gone and nhs will have to defend himself somehow.
but again, nhs is not a conventional nie, and nmj lets him grow as such. this tumblr post expresses this idea a lot better than i could, and the whole thing is a great read, but this quote is particularly important: https://someone-save-meeee.tumblr.com/post/613877430536519680/i-need-everyone-to-think-about-the-fact-that-nie">https://someone-save-meeee.tumblr.com/post/6138...
they& #39;re very different people, with different strengths and priorities, and they don& #39;t always see eye to eye, but they clearly care about each other a lot, or else nhs would not have gone to the lengths he did later on
(this is about to get super real so i humbly apologize. next stop, projection city, choo choo!)
but once the effects of nmj’s impending qi deviation set in, their relationship takes on an entirely different tone. in the novel, nmj burns nhs’ fans. in fatal journey, nmj snaps nhs’ paintbrush in half. both of these are physical representations of how nhs expresses
himself and is allowed (and encouraged!) to be independent from the rest of his family line. and it’s really easy to just sum it all up as “they have a bad relationship” especially because most of their interactions in canon take place during this period.
but the truth is that when a loved one is struggling with any kind of long-term illness (physical or mental), it’s hard on both of you. they might hurt you, and you know that it& #39;s not their fault and circumstances are beyond their control, but the pain is still there.
and when this lasts for a period of many years, it’s too damn easy to let recent memories consume your memory of them altogether. when a relationship is strained by outside factors like that, it’s hard to remember that there was a time when things were good.
at some point, you have to make a choice: either you decide it’s worth it to put in the effort to love them anyway, despite everything, or you give up and you let the relationship deteriorate (which no one wants to do but, again, it& #39;s TOO EASY when times are tough)
(i know there& #39;s a better way to put that, but i& #39;ll leave it as is for now and try to stress as strongly as i can that this is in no way their fault. right answers to things like this are hard to find and harder to follow through on, if they even exist.)
but judging from, i don’t know, THE ENTIRE REST OF THE STORY, nhs absolutely though it was worth it. that& #39;s a fact.
the nie bros’ relationship was complicated, it was tense, it was far from perfect, but relationships with a sibling never are. i see so much of myself and my relationship with my sibling in both of them, in both superficial ways and intensely personal ones.
and at the end of the day, that’s what mdzs does best: its sibling relationships are MESSY, and they perfectly capture what it’s like to fiercely love a sibling (blood or otherwise) even if your puzzle pieces don’t always fit together
